But you can’t point that out … because it will not end well. That is a sure-fire way for voices to be raised and a lot of screaming and indignation, that kind of thing … every time. I’ve seen it so many times over the years in our lounge—teachers getting into it with each other, or with substitutes—it’s just not worth it. No. And it’s happened to me as well, obviously. Married to Eric. Even with him … “you don’t get it, you just do not get it. You can’t possibly understand.” That’s an argument I just … well, I steer clear of because it is impossible to win. Not that I need to … I’m not that person … someone who has to win arguments and I rarely get into situations like that … where I raise my voice and get carried away, but it is just … well, it’s nice to know you at least have a chance to be heard … and if I did find myself in a place like that, in an argument, and someone would just sit and calmly listen to what I have to say … it would be this: Throw it out. Get rid of it entirely. It has done nothing but harm, created pain and hardship and ill will from the day it was first uttered … I mean, we were talking earlier about the weight of things. Can you even imagine what the weight of that one might be? That word? So we end it, forever—we get rid of it. That “N” word … “nigger” … we outlaw it, and execute it, and we bury it in an unmarked grave outside of town. (Laughs.) God! Listen to me! I’ll stop now. (Beat.) So … anyway … back to Eric … my husband. A lawyer. A good man and someone I love … and I have for a long, long time. Since grad school, really … which is … well, I’ll never tell! (Grins.) Just know it was a while ago now …

She thinks about this for a moment and she smiles at the thought of it. Her eyes glisten with tears as well, but mostly she smiles.

But I was—see? I do get off-topic! Twice! But this is about “Tommy” and me. What happened between the two of us. (Beat.) He’d come to me on that Thursday … or Friday … I honestly don’t remember which now … and he was interested in whether he might still get in to some college if he could pull some of his grades up … maybe do well on the SAT. A normal question for a Senior … even one like Tommy. A second-year Senior who lived in a lousy home with a mother who thought of no one but herself and did absolutely nothing to help her child. Well … one of five children, actually. At least four of whom had different dads—and I am not judging her, I’m honestly not—I mean, not too much … but those were the odds against him … when he came in to see me. (Beat.) That was what I was dealing with when he sat down in my office with me. Tommy.