“I was wrong.” Jack let his legs widen, his knee just an inch closer, and felt Theo radiating heat, anger, betrayal—and deep hurt. Hurt that he had caused. “I was so wrong, to leave you.”

He looked at the carpet, glass and burn marks, and he thought about how he had been so scared, back in the coffee shop, to open his mouth. How he hadn’t, then. He remembered watching Theo’s back as he walked away, and the sound of his strangled voice, that last day in the apartment in Cork. He breathed in—

“And I was stupid to believe you could have ever loved me. After all—look at—” Theo gestured around the room. “This is what I do. This is what I am. After everything, I’m still... I’ve worked so fucking hard to be better. To be a—a good person. But look at this, I’m still such a goddamned mess, still so—Jack Gardner,” he shut his eyes, and laughed, once, “Could never love me.”

Jack’s heart twisted in him.

He finally spoke. “Oh you are stupid.”

That was...not how he intended to start. Theo’s mouth gaped open. “Thanks.”

Jack relaxed his legs further, pressing up against Theo—and Theo’s breath caught, but he didn’t pull away. “Have you really been thinking that I didn’t love you, you monumental jackass?”

Theo’s profile looked uncertain—angry, and flushing pink, and maybe really rather offended.

This was not going as well as he had planned in his head.

“You’re doing a brilliant job of convincing me at the moment.”

“Theo, I was a coward, and I did run away, and it—” Just touching him like this, just being close, was so beautiful, like everything he’d ever wanted and everything he’d ever lost, and he hoped he could stop his idiotic mouth and make it say the right things.

“I was so scared. I was stupid, and I... And then I had what I had thought would be the perfect life.” He took Theo’s left hand, held it, and God, his skin was still so soft. “The life that I’d imagined since I was a kid. That I thought I was supposed to have. And you were right, in so many ways, because it wasn’t—I was trying to make myself—”

“You were hiding.” Theo’s hand tightened.

“Yeah. Hiding from a lot. Hiding from—”

“Your mom.”

“Fuck.” Theo looked over at him, questioning. “I’m sorry, it just...still hurts to hear it. To say it.”

“I know.” He squeezed Jack’s hand, just for a second. “Me too.”

Jack took in a shaky breath, and continued. “Anyway, I hid. And because of that, I have three amazing children. And you have Jazz—Jasper.” Theo nodded, with a fleeting smile. “So I can’t regret that, even though—”

“What, Gardner?” He almost sounded...hopeful. But still so fragile.