“I’m not really sure why. I’m just–I thought you would be good to talk to.”

“Or we could talk about the time we snuck into the cafeteria in the middle of the night and you took a shit on the floor.”

“Jesus, was that funny. You’re like, ‘Where’s the bathroom? I can’t see!’ so I find a piece of Saran Wrap and put it on the floor for you.”

“Yeah, the trash can probably didn’t smell too great the next morning.”

“Or that time we were on Boston Common and saw Wilson Phillips and you started heckling the fat one.”

“Well, next time don’t pour half a bottle of vodka into a 7-Eleven Slurpee.”

“No, seriously, I do need your help with something.”

“Yeah, work stuff.”

“Well, that’s not really it. I still like trading.”

“I don’t know how I do it, that’s the thing. There’s this misconception that good traders can ‘see patterns,’ but it’s not that at all. It has nothing to do with patterns. It’s not a video game. “

“I don’t know, define ‘smarter.’”

“Okay, by any definition I am smarter than most guys out there, but that is not it. There is more to it than that.”

“You have to understand people.”

“Yes, I do understand people. But not in the same way a psychologist understands people.”

“Correct. I understand groups of people.”

“If you want to call it social psychology, fine. I call it behavioral finance.”

“Look, one of the most basic principles in life is: do what works. So if you buy a stock, and it goes up, you should buy more.”

“Yes, and if it goes down, you should sell it.”

“Yes, it really is that simple. But it is very hard for people to do. You should try it. In fact, you probably have already tried it. You buy a stock, it goes up, what do you do with it?”

“That’s right. You sell it.”

“Yes, that is what happens most of the time. Tell me about a trade that you made.

“Microsoft, of course. And where did you buy it?”

“And where did you sell it?”

“And where is it now?”

“My point exactly. And what would you do if it went down?”

“Right. You hang onto it and see if it comes back. But it never does.”

“It applies to all of life, not just trading.

“If you keep doing what you always did, you’re going to keep getting what you always got.”

“But all I am doing is doing what works. Stocks go up, I buy them, they go up more, I buy more. When they stop going up, I will sell them.”

“That is not clear.”

“What do I think of this market personally? “I think this market is an unmitigated disaster. I think it is going to crash and take the entire planet with it.”

“I am being serious. This is the biggest bubble known to mankind. People are comparing this to 1929 and Dutch Tulips, but this is going to be worse. This is going to be unimaginably bad. We’re witnessing not just a top in the stock market, but a top in civilization. We are witnessing a top in human progress for decades.”