The bookstore isn’t busy on a Tuesday morning, and I settle in on the second floor with Sadie. I shelve books while she snores between the stacks. Childish laughter and women’s voices trickle through to where I work behind a wall of books. Sounds like a couple of moms with their preschool-age kids. I sigh. To be one of them, a mom with a child to take care of. Jay home in the evening at the end of a workday. Dinner as a family. First steps and bedtime stories. I take a deep breath and reach for the next book to be shelved.

Eventually, the women and their children leave, off to the next stop, I guess. And the floor becomes lonely and still. I work steadily, and the morning passes quietly. I try to keep my mind off Jay, and off my caller. I play a game where I decide which book on any given shelf is my favorite.

When my parents moved us to Graybridge, I’d beg Corrine to bring me here. She was sixteen in a new town, missing her friends back home. The first few months, she was lonely and didn’t mind hanging out with me. We’d both sit and read, then head to the candy shop across the square. The candy shop is long gone, replaced by a skateboard store.

When school started in the fall, Corrine’s life picked up where it had left off. She made friends easily and grew to be grateful for the move, and Graybridge became home. I found Kim that year too. The harder I tried to disappear in the back row in our classroom, the more interested in me Kim became. She made it her mission to befriend the new girl—the strange, quiet new girl. She was outgoing and popular, even in second grade. The other kids, who might have found something in my oddness to make fun of, didn’t dare with Kim at my side. And she never asked any questions, still hasn’t all these years later. Whether she ever figured out who I was, I don’t really know. But as long as no one brings it to light and makes it real again, I’m okay.

At lunchtime, I head across the square to Laken’s spa. Alice asked if Sadie could stay with her in the office while she did homework, so I reluctantly left her behind.

Serene Lake Spa takes up two storefronts, and inside it’s like another world. The walls are painted off-white, with soft blue and green accents. The sound of gentle waves fills the dimly lit waiting room. The scent of lavender and citrus hangs in the air. Ferns and smooth stones cover the counter where the receptionist is checking in two middle-aged ladies, and I wave to her as I head to Laken’s office.