I stand and lean my hands on the porch railing, inhale the autumn air. In the spring, where the garage used to stand, my new flower garden will be ripe with pink peonies, my favorite. I have a lot to look forward to. I think about Jay every day, and that gives me strength. I place my hand on my growing belly and smile. His daughter will be born in January. That will help me through the anniversary of his death. In March, the fertility clinic called me and asked if I wanted to go through another IVF cycle. We had two embryos left. I never hesitated. There are no guarantees in this life, but that’s no reason not to try. After a positive pregnancy test, Corrine held my hand at the ultrasound. Sadly, one embryo didn’t implant, but one did, one little girl held on, and sometimes that’s all it takes.