Back After the War
Chapters (74)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. About the Author
  4. Also by Anita Frank
  5. Note to Readers
  6. Dedication
  7. Part One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Chapter Three
  11. Chapter Four
  12. Chapter Five
  13. Chapter Six
  14. Chapter Seven
  15. Chapter Eight
  16. Chapter Nine
  17. Chapter Ten
  18. Chapter Eleven
  19. Chapter Twelve
  20. Chapter Thirteen
  21. Chapter Fourteen
  22. Chapter Fifteen
  23. Chapter Sixteen
  24. Chapter Seventeen
  25. Chapter Eighteen
  26. Chapter Nineteen
  27. Chapter Twenty
  28. Chapter Twenty-One
  29. Chapter Twenty-Two
  30. Chapter Twenty-Three
  31. Chapter Twenty-Four
  32. Chapter Twenty-Five
  33. Chapter Twenty-Six
  34. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  35. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  36. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  37. Chapter Thirty
  38. Chapter Thirty-One
  39. Chapter Thirty-Two
  40. Chapter Thirty-Three
  41. Chapter Thirty-Four
  42. Chapter Thirty-Five
  43. Chapter Thirty-Six
  44. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  45. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  46. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  47. Chapter Forty
  48. Part Two
  49. Chapter Forty-One
  50. Chapter Forty-Two
  51. Chapter Forty-Three
  52. Chapter Forty-Four
  53. Chapter Forty-Five
  54. Chapter Forty-Six
  55. Chapter Forty-Seven
  56. Chapter Forty-Eight
  57. Chapter Forty-Nine
  58. Chapter Fifty
  59. Chapter Fifty-One
  60. Chapter Fifty-Two
  61. Chapter Fifty-Three
  62. Chapter Fifty-Four
  63. Chapter Fifty-Five
  64. Chapter Fifty-Six
  65. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  66. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  67. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  68. Chapter Sixty
  69. Acknowledgements
  70. Extract
  71. Chapter One
  72. Chapter Two
  73. Chapter Three
  74. About the Publisher

He follows her as she crosses into the pantry to lift down the tub.

‘Here, lass, I’ll do it …’

She shrinks back against the shelves of jam and tinned produce as he stretches past her, wafting barley dust and sweat. Gwen turns away.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says gauchely. ‘I’m probably in dire need of soap and water.’

‘No, no … it’s …’ She cannot stem a sudden flow of tears. Her shoulders begin to quake.

‘Oh I’m sorry Gwen,’ he says, his eyes cast down. ‘I should have thought … you must be upset about Gordon. Despite everything, you loved him once, I suppose.’

‘I’m not crying for Gordon. I haven’t cared about Gordon for years.’ She tries to catch her breath but without success. ‘Looking back, I’m not sure I ever loved him … I was just … just charmed by him … besotted, I suppose. If anything, I feel guilty for feeling so relieved … relieved that he can’t take Tom anymore …’

‘Then why are you crying?’ Jack asks, his voice soft.

‘Because I’m afraid …

‘Afraid of what? You’re safe now, at least, you and Tom. He has no hold over you … no one has anymore, Gwen. What have you possibly got to be afraid of?’

‘Tell me …’ It takes all her courage to face him. ‘Tell me it wasn’t you.’

Her gaze drops to the flaking mortar between the flagstones beneath her feet. A sudden wash of cold covers her skin as she waits for his answer.

‘Is that what you think?’

‘I don’t know what to think.’

‘Because you think I’ve done it before? Lost my temper, killed a man. Oh, Gwen …’

‘You said you were inside …’ She cuts him off, unable to bear any longer the knowledge that has been gnawing away at her since she heard the news – and heard his lie. ‘… but I couldn’t see any light in the tack room. I couldn’t see any sign of you …’

‘Were you looking for me, then?’ His eyes glitter, the edge of his mouth tucking into his cheek, but the levity is fleeting. He studies the shelf above her head, crammed with cake tins and baking trays and the jelly moulds used only for birthdays and Christmas. ‘I was in the tack room. I had the candle on my worktable at the back. You wouldn’t have seen it, I doubt. It casts hardly a thimbleful of light, but it’s enough for me to work by.’

He sets the tub on the floor and reaches down a large saucepan to ferry water from the copper.

‘You’ll have to make up your own mind what kind of man I am, Gwen.’ He starts for the door and stops. ‘Do you trust me with Tom?’

The hurt in his voice cuts deeper than she thought possible. ‘Yes,’ she whispers.

‘Do you think I could ever hurt him?’

‘No.’

‘Do you think I would ever hurt you?’