Gwen hugs herself, gooseflesh running across her back. ‘I never thought it all through, you know. None of it. I didn’t think about what would happen when the war ended. Jack made me a promise and that was good enough for me. I didn’t stop to think about Gordon, about what would happen if he survived … if he came home. I think as the war went on and so many people lost their loved ones, I just presumed – hoped even – that he wouldn’t make it. But he has. He has made it. He has come home.’

‘Pull yourself together.’ Muriel draws herself up to her full height. ‘There’s no use sniffling now, what’s done is done. You stick to your guns. There’s no need for Gordon Allingham to get suspicious.’ Her severity relents on a sigh. Softer she says, ‘He’ll want to get on with his life, now the war is over. He’s got his wife – she’s been waiting for him all this time. They’ll be wanting a family of their own, no doubt. Even if he does have suspicions about the boy, he’s hardly going to show interest in his …’ she stops herself then she spits out the word with an air of defiance, ‘… bastard, is he? There’d be shame for him as well as for you – ramifications I’m sure he’d want to avoid.’

‘Yes … yes … his wife, of course … I’m sure you’re right.’ Gwen forces a smile and tries hard to take comfort from Muriel’s sensible reassurance, but somehow it proves elusive. She cannot quite find the sure footing the words appear to offer; every step seems to land on quicksand that sucks her further into despair. She hears the cows calling outside and forces herself to rally. ‘I must go and help Nora,’ she mutters, passing behind Muriel to retrieve her boots from the doorstep. As she readies to leave, Muriel calls out to her.

‘Don’t think on it, Gwen, do you hear me? Don’t waste your time worrying about things that will never come to pass.’

But the anxious expression on Muriel’s face belies the confidence of her words.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Jack

3rd September 1939

‘What a day for the banns to be read,’ Gwen mutters to Jack as they wait for Jim to join them for the walk to church.

Hitler has been given until eleven o’clock to withdraw his troops from Poland. Gwen has already declared herself fearful for what the day might bring, but Jack suspects it is the prospect of their public marriage announcement that has put her on edge, rather than the nation’s perilous position. The thought that their forthcoming nuptials are weighing so heavily on her mind saddens him.