‘What I lived through was me taking control of my body, my destiny. All significant choices in life are shaded by many complexities and ambiguities. But yes, after I retired and I learned from some friends about this charity that was helping women deal with the termination of a pregnancy, I thought I could perhaps help a little. Largely I am there for women who don’t have a partner or a friend or family member to support them. They are often having the procedure without anyone’s knowledge. I am with the woman beforehand. I listen to whatever they want to tell me. I attempt to talk them through any doubts or fears they have – never trying to convince them to have the abortion if they are beginning to have second thoughts. In several cases, the woman has changed her mind before the procedure. I try to get them to do breathing exercises if they are tense, scared. The abortion itself takes usually around five minutes. The woman is given normal over-the-counter painkillers afterwards. Advil or something like that. There are herbal teas and cookies in our recovery area. Most of all I sit with her after the procedure for as long as she needs me. Sometimes the woman breaks down. Sometimes the woman just wants to get dressed and get out the door. Sometimes there is anger. Sometimes regret. Sometimes hysteria. Sometimes absolute calm and a resoluteness about it all. Every abortion is different. Every woman has a completely distinct reaction to the whole business – and its ramifications … or lack thereof. I am simply there to support them in any way possible. Each time I am dealing with an atypical situation. Most of all I am there to let them know: they are not alone. If requested I give them my cell number and am there on the phone or to meet them later on if they need to talk. I function a bit like a therapist – but more than anything as a completely non-judgmental friend.’

Silence. I was trying to figure out what I should say next. All I could think was:

‘I’m amazed you told me all that about your own abortion.’

‘Why?’ she asked.

‘Because it’s so private, so personal.’

‘And something I’ve only shared with a very close friend – now sadly dead – besides you.’

‘I’m kind of … honored, I guess.’

‘But I trust you, Brendan.’

We went east – to Los Feliz. A little street off Franklin. A nice house. Very much renovated, with two very good cars – an Audi Q5 and a Mini Cooper – in the driveway. Before she got out of the car Elise said:

‘I’ll be about ten minutes,’ she said. ‘Her name is Jackie. Just to warn you she’s a bit of a motormouth. But given what she’s going through right now …’