“Um, five days ago.” Had it been that long already? Longer, maybe? Eek. It’d been more than ten days now.

“Five days?” he echoed incredulously as his smile faded. I could feel everyone at the table watching us. “Wow,” he said, shaking his head as if to clear it. “Okay. Wow. Well… see you around.” And he turned and walked away.

I stood there in shock, my mouth actually hanging open, until Sierra put her hand on my elbow. “Hey, Alley Cat, let’s go meet your dad. Bye, everyone!” she said cheerfully.

But they were all looking at me like they’d just seen something they shouldn’t have.

“Bye, you guys. See you, Allie,” Sam and Anika said quietly.

I walked away from the table like a zombie, still watching Colin’s back as he crossed the open square. I felt horrible.

I ditched my stuff in the trash and stowed the tray on top. As we walked out to the parking lot, I stammered, “Um—that was bad—I think.”

Sierra bit her lip. “We told you to text him.”

I spun around angrily, taking out my embarrassment on her. “And I told you: I didn’t want him to think I like him!”

“But you do like him! And besides, he’s your friend! That’s not how you treat friends!”

“What would you know about it anyway? You just admitted that you’re bad at keeping friends.” Oh. Had I really just said that out loud?

“Is that what you actually think?” Sierra’s eyes were bright with angry tears as my dad pulled up.

“I don’t know what I think. Let’s just go!”

We climbed into the car and didn’t speak again for the whole ride home.

CHAPTER FOUR KEEPING OLD FRIENDS IS HARD TOO

Within a half hour of arriving home at my dad’s, I texted an apology to Sierra.

I’m sorry, Sierra. Did not mean to take it out on you. I’m just upset about Colin. You are much better than me with friends. Look how many you have.

I deleted the last line because it made me seem like I was competing with her. Then I pressed send and waited to see if she’d reply.

While I waited, I took out my computer and searched for the sixteen personalities thing that Sierra had mentioned, then settled in to take a test that would tell me what my type was. The questions were things like, was I a planner or did I just wing things? (Uh, planner! Duh!) Was I outgoing or shy in social settings? (No-brainer.) Some of the questions were more for adults, like about relationships or whatever, so I just substituted how I was with Colin or my friends, and then sat back to wait for what felt like a diagnosis from the website.