She found herself making excuses to go into town, to dawdle in stores she had never stepped foot into before. She searched for his face on every sidewalk, on every beach, peering below baseball caps, looking for that jawline, the insightful eyes. She went to the grocery store for the first time all summer, circled the aisles, prayed that he’d come in at just that moment, that he would accidentally bump her with his cart, leave a bruise that she could press on for days.

At the party he had included her, made an effort to introduce her to people, called her a friend, acknowledged her existence wholly and entirely. He explained to her the gaps of information that she was missing when he was in conversation about people she’d never heard of, topics she didn’t understand, places she’d never been. He filled up her champagne glass over and over again even though he was the birthday boy, and this was his party.

After the cake was sliced and handed out, when the music got wilder and shoes were discarded, swimsuits donned, the older guests finally leaving, he gave her a slice of cake, put his hand on the small of her back. “Thank you for being such a good friend to Peri.”

My God, that stare, so penetrative like he could fuck her with his eyes, the spot where his hand had laid, hot from the touch of his skin, even after he took his palm away.

It was crazy, nonsensical. They had barely exchanged more than a few words with each other. She didn’t know him, his likes or dislikes, his secrets, his favorite color or animal. He was in a relationship.

He was in a relationship with her best friend.

She found herself lying to Peri, telling her that she had to do some after-hours administrative work for Dr. Forsyth. She told her that Kitty was away, that there was no one to let her into the apartment if she wasn’t there. Thankfully, she had never asked for a key.

Just to give herself space to think about Tom fully and completely without distraction, lying in bed, staring at the whirring blades of her ceiling fan. She didn’t even have to touch herself to feel the dampness creep out down there. Just summoning his image in her head turned her on, standing in the moonlight with those damn ponies, his teeth as white and shiny as Forsyth’s best dental patients.