My sweet, sweet Marin. You’re angry at me, I know. You’ll be even angrier as you find out I’m alive and well. As well as one can be after I gave up my children because I had to, not because I wanted to. I never meant to abandon you, and I certainly never expected Bennett to tell you I had died. But what other choice did he have, if it prevented you and your sister from following down my dark path after me? The fear of death can be mighty persuasive.

If there’s any way I could explain it, to make you understand why I had to murder my old self in order to become my new self, I would use every word to do so. But there aren’t enough words, are there? So I hope that my simple I’m sorry is enough. I hope that my love is enough. I hope that the years I spent missing you, giving up my family in order to give up my addiction, is enough.

This letter is more than an apology for all the wrong I’ve committed against you. It’s my amends, my attempt at reconciliation—Bennett’s favorite word—with you and your sister. I hope it’s not too late. I hope that me getting help to be a better person didn’t ruin the only good things left in my life—my girls. Rehab kicked my butt, but it was the butt-kicking I needed to rescue me from the constant treading water as addiction sucked me under. I finally rose to the top, still treading water, but I’m getting used to it now.

If there’s a chance we can reconnect, a chance you’ll forgive me, a chance I can be your mom again, I hope you’ll take it. I may not be worth a second chance, but you are. Anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t worth your time. You and your sister will forever own my heart, no matter what you decide.

Love, Mom

Slipping the letter back into the envelope, Vera tucked it under her leg along with the picture, desperately missing the woman she never knew but hoped to one day meet. She had been here, after all, but somehow got washed away amid the ebb and flow of bodies. At the front of the sitting room Uncle Cody stood, eyes skimming across the room of faces. He cleared his throat into his fist, then spoke.