‘Dad . . . Dad, stop! Please,’ she begged, but he was bucking away now making horrible grunting noises while she lay there feeling as if she was being torn in two. And then just when she was sure that she was going to die he suddenly gave a great shudder and dropped onto her pushing the air from her lungs and making her gasp. She was too terrified to try to move him in case he did it again, but thankfully soon he began to snore and she managed to roll from beneath him. Her most private parts felt as if they were on fire and she was sticky, but even so she crept from the room as quiet as a mouse and tiptoed back down to the kitchen where she sat and sobbed broken-heartedly. It was then that her mother’s words came back to her, I want you to leave here too.

Could it be, she wondered, that this was what her mother had feared would happen?

After a time, she pulled herself together enough to pour some water into a bowl and scrub herself thoroughly from head to foot, but even though she scrubbed until she was sore, she still felt dirty. It was then that she knew what she had to do: somewhere out in the big wide world was her real mother and from this moment on she would not rest until she had found her.

Giving herself no time to change her mind she dressed quickly, then quietly crept back up the stairs to collect her few clothes and the locket her mother had given her for her birthday. Tying them into a bundle, she went back down to the kitchen and wrapped her shawl about her shoulders. From the hiding place behind a brick in the fireplace she collected the small amount of money her mother had slipped her over the years. Ruby had never questioned it before, but now it occurred to her that perhaps her mother had been trying to make sure she had something put by should she need to leave suddenly, and once again she wondered whether her mother had guessed this might happen one day. She would never know now, she reflected as she stared about the room for the last time. Then she turned decisively and hurried through the shop, where she snatched a loaf from the counter and thrust it into her bundle. Who knew when she might be able to eat again? Opening the door, she slipped through it and closed it quietly behind her and taking a deep breath she set off into the snowy night.