“Why should I?” Thomasina said with a confused shake of her head.

“Because you have done the thing we were not supposed to speak of!” Juliana cried. “The first of us to do so.” Her face fell. “I suppose not the first of us, after all. Perhaps Anne—”

Thomasina caught her hands. “Don’t think of it. We must assume she is fine and doing only what she wants to do while we’re parted. To think of any other possibility is too awful to bear.”

Even more unbearable now that she understood what happened between a man and a woman. When it was desired, it was wonderful and perfect. If it wasn’t…well, she could imagine how damaging it would be. She blinked at the sting of tears and tried to remain positive for Juliana’s sake.

“What was it like?” Juliana pressed.

Thomasina felt the heat flood her cheeks and she darted her gaze from her sister’s pointed one. “It was—it was…”

“Please don’t start with the ‘unmarried ladies shouldn’t know’ nonsense. We’ve always promised we would share this information.” Juliana folded her arms in expectation.

“I don’t want to hide it, I assure you,” Thomasina said. “It is just that I’m not sure how to describe it. If you want the man, if he wants you, if he cares about your pleasure…it is more wonderful than anything I’ve ever thought could exist between two people. The entire endeavor makes you feel alive. Like you could fly, but also that you’re grounded. And the pleasure is…intense.”

“It didn’t hurt like everyone always claims?” Juliana asked, leaning forward with gathering interest.

“Yes, a little. Though not after the first time.”

Juliana’s eyes boggled. “You did it more than once?”

Thomasina bent her head with a hot blush in response.

“Well, I suppose I will know soon enough. Unless Father decides to keep me a spinster so he won’t lose his secretary, I will be the next to fall to his desire to marry his daughters well.” Juliana twisted her mouth. “Until then I will only have to imagine.”

“Well, there is a way to give yourself the pleasure,” Thomasina said, her blush returning. “But I don’t think we should speak about it in such a public room.”

“No, perhaps not,” Juliana agreed with a smile. “We will have to discuss it soon enough, though. After all, Father and I are still scheduled to return to London the day after tomorrow. He hasn’t said anything different to me, despite Anne being missing.”

Thomasina let out her breath in a long sigh. “Yes, if Jasper sticks to his original timeline that he created for his marriage to Anne, we will follow just a week afterward. I had hoped we would remain here and try to find her. Do you think Father is looking at all? I know we are commodities to him, but he must care that she is in danger, mustn’t he?”

Juliana’s dropped stare was the answer to the question that Thomasina feared she already knew. “He will say he cares,” Juliana said carefully. “But now that Anne has done something so foolish, so scandal-worthy as running away, he knows he’ll gain nothing through her. If she isn’t a chip to be bargained with…”