He lifted a hand into her hair, gliding his fingers along her scalp. He tilted her face toward his and she let out a shuddering sigh as his mouth found hers.

He was gentle in the kiss. Almost like it was the first time. Perhaps it was the first, for their relationship had changed—they were renegotiating their future now. She parted her lips when he traced them with his tongue, drowning in his taste and the way his arms felt as they came around her and supported her.

But then she thought of all that had come to pass between them. All that had been said and unsaid. All that he had done to keep the truth from her even as she begged for it. And she gently shrugged from his embrace and backed away.

He let her, watching her but not pursuing.

“You told me once that I could withdraw my consent at any time,” she whispered, her cheeks flaming as she dropped her gaze to the floor beneath her bare feet. “And I am doing that now. Not forever. But until my mind can untangle the truth from the lies.”

She lifted her gaze to read his reaction. He could take what he wanted, not that she thought he was that kind of man. He could argue and cajole and seduce and get it through those means too.

But he didn’t do any of those things. He took a long step away instead and inclined his head. “I understand,” he said softly, the strain heavy in his voice. “I know I’ve lost any right to touch you. I know I must earn that back, as well. So I’ll leave you if that’s what you want.”

“It’s probably best for tonight,” she said, and suddenly didn’t feel as certain in that decision.

He moved for the door. He stopped there and turned back to her. “I’d like to start the search of the rest of those trunks in the morning, if you are up for an early day.”

She nodded. “I’ll be sure to have my maid wake me at a reasonable hour.”

“Good.” He shifted, running his fingers along the door absently. “Thomasina, I won’t push you, but I want you to know that I do want you. I do need you. And when you are ready for me, I’ll be here. Goodnight.”

He left then. Left her to stare at the barrier he closed between them. Left her to ponder if she’d made the right decision by putting up the wall to protect herself.

Left her to miss the man who had come to mean everything to her.

Chapter 22

The walk down to the outbuilding was as quiet as the one the day before had been, but this time Jasper didn’t feel as high of a barrier between them. Thomasina might have refused him the night before, but today she talked a little easier with him. She dared a smile now and then.

Still, he felt her worry. Her fear for both her sisters, now that Juliana had gone with Mr. Shelley to search out some truth in Scotland. He felt how lost she was without those same sisters as her anchors.