Chapter 12

Thomasina forced a smile up at Ruby as her maid put the finishing touches on her hair. She had to force the smile, for she had too many troubling thoughts on her mind. First of which was that she had awoken alone in the chamber next door that morning. Jasper had left without waking her.

She supposed she could tell herself that he wanted to let her sleep after their extremely passionate and strenuous night. But she felt something else to the abandonment. Something that troubled her. It was the same feeling she’d had when she found him in his dressing room reading over a letter the night before.

It felt like he was hiding something from her. Keeping her at arm’s length. Even lying to her. But he wouldn’t do that, would he? They had promised not to lie and he seemed a man who honored his promises. So perhaps she was being silly?

She left Ruby to tidy up her chamber, not a huge feat considering she hadn’t slept there, and headed out into the house. Although it was very late thanks to her equally late night, the house was quiet. Everyone else had probably already eaten their breakfast and gone on with their day. The fact that she and Jasper hadn’t come down to join them would be whispered about with knowing looks.

Now she understood the meaning of those expressions far more.

She took her time as she moved through the estate, continuing the tour Jasper had begun a few days before and then stopped abruptly. That seemed to be the way between them, really. Starts and stops. Connection and withdrawal. All dictated by the man she had married.

She stepped into a hall and looked around with a smile, for here was the gallery of family portraits that seemed ubiquitous on every fine estate in the land. Still, one could learn a great deal from looking at man’s family history, so she glanced up at the portraits and found little hints of Jasper in many a gentleman and lady who stood staring sternly down at her.

Toward the end of the hall hung three portraits that made her stop. One was a family with a tall man, a woman who was obviously the dowager countess, and two boys. The older looked a bit sullen, his gaze darted away from the rest of the family. And the younger was Jasper. She leaned in, looking at that little boy face with its slight smile.

Her children would share some of those features, she realized with a start. They would stand together for a painter and make a similar portrait in some faraway time and place.

Would they look so disconnected as Lord and Lady Harcourt did? There must have been a foot between them, and Lady Harcourt was turned slightly away from the earl, as if the very act of being near him was a trial.

Thomasina sincerely hoped her future would not be like that. It was far too common in Society.