JOYCE   Of course, it’s what we do best, isn’t it, the pageantry? The carriages passing through the streets, the Household Cavalry, the bells ringing out. Oh, England. It’s like a fairy tale.
There is a shrill scream from the pig.
I know they’re going to be very happy.
Allardyce bursts into tears.

INT. CHILVERS’ HALL. NIGHT.

Gilbert is sunk against the banister in despair as Mother creeps anxiously down the stairs. Nuttall comes out of the surgery with two brimming buckets of blood and Preston following.

NUTTALL   Gangway.
Mother flattens herself against the wall, horrified.
The water hot?
Gilbert nods. Nuttall starts up the stairs.

(to Preston) With a bit more leisure I’d make black pudding. (to Gilbert) Got a razor?

INT. CHILVERS’ SITTING ROOM. NIGHT.

Gilbert comes in; he is plainly upset and puts his arm round Allardyce. Through the open door can be seen the hindquarters of the dead pig.

GILBERT   I’m sorry.

DR SWABY   Sorry? I thought you called yourself a medical man. The first requirement of a medical man is to have no feelings.
Nuttall comes in.

NUTTALL   I want a hand. We’ve got to get it upstairs.

DR SWABY   I’m dressed up.

LOCKWOOD   I have a hernia.

JOYCE   (brightly) My brother-in-law has a hernia.
Allardyce goes meekly Out. Gilbert follows.
What a charming man. (Knocks back the sherry.) So sensitive. I teach the daughter piano. One day I feel she will surprise us all.
There is a sound of a great fart from the pig as it is lifted up the stairs.

INT. CHILVERS’ HALL. NIGHT.

Mother stands looking up the stairs. Nuttall comes down, followed by Gilbert and Allardyce. They go into the sitting room.

NUTTALL   Right, when I’ve seen to the carcass I’ll leave.

INSPECTOR NOBLE   I leave first.

NUTTALL   I’m the one he’s watching. I leave first but empty-handed, right? You take the pig.

DR SWABY   We’re not taking the pig.

NUTTALL   Do you want the pig, or don’t you?
Mother comes in.

MOTHER   Joyce. Can I use the toilet?

JOYCE   Of course, Mother. There’s no need to ask. (mouthing) Seventy-four.

MOTHER   (confidentially to Dr Swaby) Eleven elevens are a hundred and …

JOYCE   Go to the toilet, Mother.

INT. CHILVERS’ BATHROOM. NIGHT.

Pan down from bottles of shampoo, tins of talcum powder, in clouds of steam, reclining in the bath, one leg delicately poised over the edge, is the dead pig. Mother looks at it from her seat on the toilet. Going to the door, she opens it to find the busy Nuttall waiting, razor in hand.

INT. CHILVERS’ SITTING ROOM. NIGHT.

Lockwood peeps through the curtains, watching the street. He nods.

INSPECTOR NOBLE   Right. Off you go.
Nuttall, seen waiting for the word in the hall, leaves with Preston.

INT./EXT. WORMOLD’S CAR/CHILVERS’ HOUSE. NIGHT.