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Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

GEORGE   And you’re sure we’re doing the right thing?

BETTY   Yes, we are.

GEORGE   Just think, at this moment all over London our friends are making their way towards us.
They advance towards one another to embrace when the telephone rings. They look at the telephone. George picks it up. It is dead.

INT. CORRIDOR. NIGHT.

George and Betty emerge into the corridor as the telephone continues to ring. They listen outside doors. Betty opens a door, switches on a light, and signals to George. He comes up, and walks ahead of her into the room.

INT. EMPTY ROOM. NIGHT.

George comes up to telephone, on the floor in the middle of the empty room, still ringing. As he comes to it, it stops. George, picks it up, puts it to his ear. Nothing. He passes it to Betty. As she is handing it back to him, the front doorbell chimes.

INT. STAIRS AND HALL. NIGHT.

George comes down the stairs; he is still not completely dressed. The doorbell chimes again – two notes. The Piano Tuner echoes the same two notes on the piano. George goes to look through the open door at him.

INT. MUSIC ROOM. NIGHT.

The Piano Tuner senses George’s presence in the doorway and raises his head, but doesn’t strike any more notes. George softly closes the door.

INT. HALL. NIGHT.

George unbolts the front door. Two men are waiting outside. One is tall, in his fifties, the other slighter and very unkempt, in his twenties. Harold, the elder, carries a small attaché case. Glyn, the younger, carries two large suitcases.

HAROLD   Mr Nelson?

GEORGE   Who are you?

HAROLD   The slaves.

GEORGE   The slaves! Of course. Enter. Enter.
George makes a point of bolting the door, looking out first. The waiters look round.

GEORGE   (joining them) You got here all right? No problems?

HAROLD   Harold.

GEORGE   Harold.

HAROLD   Glyn.

GEORGE   Glyn.
George has put out his hand but somehow it is not seen and he puts it away again. The sound of piano tuning starts again.

GEORGE   I’m afraid we have only the barest essentials at the moment, pending the arrival of our furniture … one’s bits and pieces. Still I think you’ll find we have gas, water and electricity. All mains services.
George leads the way towards a door connecting with the kitchen stairs. Harold and Glyn follow.

INT. KITCHEN STAIRS AND KITCHEN. NIGHT.

A large, old-fashioned kitchen with a door that gives on to a basement area outside. Large new oil stove and sink fittings. There is a large crate in the middle of the empty floor. George appears down the staircase.

GEORGE   I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the kitchen. Plenty of elbow room here. And – (He indicates the crate.) – your people brought this round earlier. I imagine it’s all in there.
Harold puts his attaché case on the crate and opens it. Glyn snoops around, opens and closes the back door.