Back A Private Function
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

PRINCE OF WALES   Wait! Wait! Lord Chancellor, my life has been waiting. I endeavour to cultivate languor. But it is difficult to be languid when the throne of England is pending. People laugh at me. What must I do to be taken seriously? I tell you, sir, to be Prince of Wales is not a position. It is a predicament.
He gathers up Maria and leaves.

FOX   She has more sense than he has.

THURLOW   It takes character to withstand the rigours of indolence.

INT. WESTMINSTER. HOUSE OF COMMONS. DAY.

The Regency Bill being distributed at the House of Commons. MPs reading it.

INT. CARLTON HOUSE. DRAWING ROOM. DAY.

Thurlow has brought the Prince of Wales a copy of the Regency Bill. The Prince reads it, looking for some mention of his wife.

PRINCE OF WALES   Maria is not mentioned.

THURLOW   No, sir. It’s a little early for that.

PRINCE OF WALES   It will happen, Maria, I promise you. Won’t it, Thurlow?

THURLOW   Sir.
It is plain that he doesn’t think so, nor does she.

INT. WINDSOR. QUEEN’S APARTMENTS. DAY.

The Queen is reading over the Bill.

QUEEN   No, no. This must not be, the son in charge of the father.
He will be put away. This is his death warrant. Elizabeth. I must see him. Elizabeth!
Close-up on Lady Pembroke, who knows what is expected of her. She collects her cloak and makes to leave.

INT. KEW. GREVILLE’S ROOM. DAY.

Lady Pembroke is sitting. Greville is standing. She has just finished explaining her request.

GREVILLE   I cannot do it, ma’am.
Lady Pembroke gets up.
Besides, if Her Majesty sees him … he… he … he still… utters such improprieties.
Lady Pembroke smiles at his confusion.

LADY PEMBROKE   What about?

GREVILLE   About … about you, madam.

LADY PEMBROKE   Tell me.

GREVILLE   I cannot say.

LADY PEMBROKE   What is it His Majesty dreams of doing, Mr Greville?
She has him backed up against the door.
Is it this?
She takes Greville’s hand and puts it on her breast.
Greville shakes his head helplessly.
This? Or this?
Her left hand goes down out of frame and Greville catches his breath. Greville dissolves into a kiss, out of control.
Lady Pembroke is perfectly in control.

INT. KEW. STAIRCASE. DAY.

The King’s delighted face, as he and the pages slide down the banisters. The King is well shaved and looks healthy and Willis seems in good spirits. Baker and Fitzroy, on the other hand, are disdainful.

KING   Come on, lads! Race you to the door. Come on … I won!

INT. KEW. ENTRANCE HALL. DAY.

Baker is leaving. King, Willis, Fitzroy and the pages see him off.

KING   (winking at the pages) Oh, Baker. Baker, before you leave …

BAKER   Sir?

KING   I have a little job for you. A secret mission.

BAKER   Yes, sir.