Back A Private Function
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover
  2. Landing Page
  3. A Private Function
  4. CONTENTS
  5. INTRODUCTION
  6. The Old Crowd
  7. CAST
  8. A Private Function
  9. PREFACE
  10. CAST AND CREDITS
  11. Prick Up Your Ears
  12. PREFACE
  13. CAST AND CREDITS
  14. 102 Boulevard Haussmann
  15. CAST AND CREDITS
  16. The Madness of King George
  17. PREFACE
  18. CAST AND CREDITS
  19. About the Author
  20. Also by the Author
  21. Copyright

KING   I know I am talking. Do not tell me I talk. I follow my words. I run after them. I am dragged at locution’s tail. I have to talk in order to keep up with my thoughts.

AMELIA   I’m frightened.

KING   (to Queen) I thought he had taken you.

QUEEN   Who, sir?

KING   The other George. The fat one. You were not in my bed.
I thought you had deceived me with the son.

QUEEN   Sir!

KING   Still, Elizabeth comes to my bed, don’t you, Elizabeth?

QUEEN   Elizabeth, you leave us. All of you go, just go. Go, you too, go.
The Queen wrests Amelia, who is now hysterical, from the King, puts her in someone’s arms, and chases them all through the roof door. She turns to the King.
You want to talk? Well, talk! Talk away!

KING   What do you do with him that you do not do with me, madam? At it like pigs, the pair of you, huh? Those fat hands, that young belly. Your warm thighs. Harlot.

QUEEN   Be still, sir. For pity’s sake. Listen. George. Hear me.
She holds his mouth closed, and finally he is still.
Do you think that you are mad?

KING   (with sudden clarity, from the heart) I don’t know. I don’t know. Madness isn’t such torment. Madness is not half-blind. Madmen can stand. They skip! They dance! And I talk. I talk and talk and talk. I hear the words so I have to speak them. I have to empty my head of the words. Something has happened.
Something is not right. Oh, Charlotte.
They embrace, weeping in each other’s arms.

INT. WINDSOR. STAIRCASE TO ROOF. NIGHT.

Fitzroy, pursued by Greville, runs up a winding stair.

GREVILLE   I will not do this, sir.

FITZROY   It is by order of the Prince.

GREVILLE   I am equerry to His Majesty, not the Prince.

FITZROY   His Majesty is out of his mind.

EXT. WINDSOR. ROOF. NIGHT.

Fitzroy comes out onto the roof, followed by Greville.

QUEEN   Can we never be solitary? I told you to leave us. I am talking with His Majesty.

KING   Is it the floods? Have the waters spread?

QUEEN   Hush, George. Hush, George.

KING   No, no, no, my dear. Greville is right. He is right to take precautions. We must fetch the children. Take them to the higher ground. Save Amelia, Adolphus, little Octavius. Bring the Queen.

GREVILLE   Bring the Queen.

FITZROY   I have been instructed by His Royal Highness to move Your Majesty’s lodgings, ma’am.

QUEEN   Why? Where?

FITZROY   It is to assist His Majesty’s recovery.

GREVILLE   Captain Fitzroy.

FITZROY   Go, sir. Go.
Greville begins to lead the King away, as Fitzroy prevents the Queen from following.

QUEEN   George!

FITZROY   Your Majesty is not to have access to the King’s presence.