KING   Yes, go on. Do it. Do it, do it. Do not faff, sir. Hold it, do not fondle it. Now, were you responsible for the senna, Baker, what, what?

BAKER   I prescribed it for Your Majesty, yes, sir.

KING   Then you are a fool, Baker, what, what?

BAKER   It’s only a mild purgative, sir.

KING   Mild, sir, mild? Fourteen motions and you call it mild! I could have manured the whole parish. Well, if two glasses of it can lay the King low, it could be the end of all government.

BAKER   Two glasses? Your Majesty was only supposed to take three spoonfuls.

KING   When did three spoonsful of anything do anybody any good? Measure the medicine to the man, Baker. How is the pulse?

BAKER   It’s very fast, sir.

KING   Good, good.

BAKER   Your Majesty would probably feel better after a warm bath. A warm bath has a most settling effect on the spirits.

KING   Yes, well, you have one, then. Your spirits are more agitated than mine. Come on.
The King rushes out of the room. Fitzroy looks at Greville as if he ought to know what is expected of him. Greville hesitates, then rushes after the King, together with Papandiek, the nicest of the King’s pages.

EXT. WINDSOR GREAT PARK. DAY.

The King walks very briskly along, talking so fast it is almost nonsense. Greville and Papandiek are finding it hard to keep up.

KING   Breathe this air, Mr Greville. Breathe it. Come on, lads, keep up. Keep up.
He slashes at thistles.
This is the way we deal with America, sir. I’ll teach you, sirs. Take that, Mr Colonist! And that, sir! And that!

GREVILLE   Fetch the Queen.
Papandiek runs back.

EXT. ANOTHER PART OF WINDSOR GREAT PARK. DAY.

A cricket match is in progress in the park. The King interrupts it, marching straight to the wicket.

KING   No, no, no, no, that’s not cricket, you don’t hold the bat like that, man.
The King seizes the bat from a startled boy and clouts the ball for six. There is general acclamation from the other players and the King is delighted.
Now the Queen and Lady Pembroke, followed by Fitzroy and the pages, come hurrying across the park.

QUEEN   What is he doing?
Bored with being a batsman, the King is now fielding; the monarch, after all, is expected to be an all-rounder. He stumps the young batsman, whipping off the bails, and the umpire, more out of deference than fair play, gives the batsman out.
The King then throws the ball in the air and is again congratulated by the sycophantic young cricketers.
The Queen puts a good face on this, smiling bravely and even applauding as if this were the King’s normal behaviour.
Fitzroy applauds more politely, but he is not deceived.

KING   Over there, out of the way, ha. How’s that?

FITZROY   Oh, God.

INT. WESTMINSTER. HOUSE OF COMMONS. LOBBY. DAY.