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Back A Night of Flames
Chapters (76)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise forMATTHEW HARFFY
  3. BY MATTHEW HARFFY
  4. Title Page
  5. Copyright
  6. Dedication
  7. Maps
  8. Epigraph
  9. Contents
  10. Place Names
  11. One
  12. Two
  13. Three
  14. Four
  15. Five
  16. Six
  17. Seven
  18. Eight
  19. Nine
  20. Ten
  21. Eleven
  22. Twelve
  23. Thirteen
  24. Fourteen
  25. Fifteen
  26. Sixteen
  27. Seventeen
  28. Eighteen
  29. Nineteen
  30. Twenty
  31. Twenty-One
  32. Twenty-Two
  33. Twenty-Three
  34. Twenty-Four
  35. Twenty-Five
  36. Twenty-Six
  37. Twenty-Seven
  38. Twenty-Eight
  39. Twenty-Nine
  40. Thirty
  41. Thirty-One
  42. Thirty-Two
  43. Thirty-Three
  44. Thirty-Four
  45. Thirty-Five
  46. Thirty-Six
  47. Thirty-Seven
  48. Thirty-Eight
  49. Thirty-Nine
  50. Forty
  51. Forty-One
  52. Forty-Two
  53. Forty-Three
  54. Forty-Four
  55. Forty-Five
  56. Forty-Six
  57. Forty-Seven
  58. Forty-Eight
  59. Forty-Nine
  60. Fifty
  61. Fifty-One
  62. Fifty-Two
  63. Fifty-Three
  64. Fifty-Four
  65. Fifty-Five
  66. Fifty-Six
  67. Fifty-Seven
  68. Fifty-Eight
  69. Fifty-Nine
  70. Sixty
  71. Sixty-One
  72. Sixty-Two
  73. Author’s Note
  74. Acknowledgements
  75. About the Author
  76. An Invitation from the Publisher

It is strange how these things happen. Despite having seen her many times over the previous weeks, it was as if I saw her that morning for the first time. She glanced up from where she was carding wool in the sun and before she looked away demurely, some form of silent communication had passed between us.

Sensing it, Gersine laughed and slapped me on the back. I growled in anger and embarrassment and strode off to the smith. But that afternoon, as we worked, I could not stop thinking about her, and it was only a few days later that Cwenswith followed me into the storeroom.

I knew she was betrothed to Wistan, one of the young carpenters, but I was a warrior now and I would not be dissuaded from taking what I wanted, no matter the consequences. To begin with, we were careful, meeting in secret. But as our passion grew, I became increasingly flagrant.

When it became obvious to the others what was happening, Gwawrddur and Hereward both cautioned me, pulling me aside and telling me that there was only one way this would end: badly. But I was a young man and filled with the lusts of youth, and a smile and a wink from a pretty girl, and the promise of pleasure, was more than I could resist. Not that I wanted to. I persuaded myself that I loved her. It was as though a madness had taken over and I succumbed to the Devil’s temptations of the flesh wholeheartedly.

I knew my friends were right, but I did not care. As the days grew longer and warmer, I made ever less effort to hide my encounters with Cwenswith. It was only a matter of time before Wistan would discover us together. And yet, despite the danger, or perhaps because of it and the thrill it brought, I did not stop. I convinced myself that this was how warriors behaved; bedding whom they pleased, when they wanted.

I have had many years to think about those months, and I believe now that I wanted Wistan to find us. I longed to be confronted, to face a foe I could fight against, rather than trying to grapple with the self-doubt and loss I felt at being cut off from my brothers in Christ and the life I had abandoned.

If that was so, I got what I wanted that early summer’s day as I circled Wistan, sword and shield in hand. I had given him every chance to surrender, but he had refused. He was already wounded, but he was still a strong man. I could not risk him landing a lucky blow. The time had come to end this. Catching his clumsy attacks on my shield, I stabbed beneath his guard. I felt my blade make contact. I pushed hard and he grunted.