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Back A Night of Flames
Chapters (76)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise forMATTHEW HARFFY
  3. BY MATTHEW HARFFY
  4. Title Page
  5. Copyright
  6. Dedication
  7. Maps
  8. Epigraph
  9. Contents
  10. Place Names
  11. One
  12. Two
  13. Three
  14. Four
  15. Five
  16. Six
  17. Seven
  18. Eight
  19. Nine
  20. Ten
  21. Eleven
  22. Twelve
  23. Thirteen
  24. Fourteen
  25. Fifteen
  26. Sixteen
  27. Seventeen
  28. Eighteen
  29. Nineteen
  30. Twenty
  31. Twenty-One
  32. Twenty-Two
  33. Twenty-Three
  34. Twenty-Four
  35. Twenty-Five
  36. Twenty-Six
  37. Twenty-Seven
  38. Twenty-Eight
  39. Twenty-Nine
  40. Thirty
  41. Thirty-One
  42. Thirty-Two
  43. Thirty-Three
  44. Thirty-Four
  45. Thirty-Five
  46. Thirty-Six
  47. Thirty-Seven
  48. Thirty-Eight
  49. Thirty-Nine
  50. Forty
  51. Forty-One
  52. Forty-Two
  53. Forty-Three
  54. Forty-Four
  55. Forty-Five
  56. Forty-Six
  57. Forty-Seven
  58. Forty-Eight
  59. Forty-Nine
  60. Fifty
  61. Fifty-One
  62. Fifty-Two
  63. Fifty-Three
  64. Fifty-Four
  65. Fifty-Five
  66. Fifty-Six
  67. Fifty-Seven
  68. Fifty-Eight
  69. Fifty-Nine
  70. Sixty
  71. Sixty-One
  72. Sixty-Two
  73. Author’s Note
  74. Acknowledgements
  75. About the Author
  76. An Invitation from the Publisher

I grimaced and looked back at the sea, sky and birds. If only the lives of men were as simple as those of gulls. I snorted at my own thought. Were our lives really any more complex? Hadn’t my dreams been filled with carnal fantasies of Thurid. Perhaps animals too dreamt of coupling in their quest to find a mate. I glanced to where Ahmad was hunched over, quietly preparing porridge. He didn’t look up, seemingly lost in thought, his lips moving silently as he stirred the water and oats in a bowl atop the firepot. I pondered that so much of our existence echoed that of beasts. Animals sought food, and did what they must to survive. Had I not merely done the same? We had survived because of what I had done. How could that be wrong? But if what I had done was right, why did my heart hurt so?

Ahmad came to me then with a small bowl of the porridge. I accepted it, dipping the wooden spoon into the gloopy mixture and tasting it. It was hot and I was sure it would fill me, but it tasted like mud. And yet I was hungry and, like any animal, my body needed sustenance to keep strong, so I ate.

“I have not thanked you,” I said, as Ahmad turned away.

He stiffened.

“You do not need to thank me for your food,” he said. “I am a thrall.”

His words were bitter, and I wondered briefly at his past and the manner of man he was.

“I did not mean for the food,” I replied, the oats congealing in my mouth. “But for that too you have my gratitude. Gwawrddur lives because of you. I thank you for that.”

“What good are your thanks to me?” he asked, not waiting for an answer before he moved back to the firepot.

Leofstan joined me while I ate the rest of the porridge.

“Why so glum?” he asked.

I swallowed more of the mealy paste and stared out over the sparkling waters to the north. There was nothing on the horizon. Brymsteda sailed alone in a world of water.

“I was wondering what separates us from animals,” I said at last.

Leofstan surprised me by smiling.

“And there is the Hunlaf I know,” he said. “And to think I was worrying about you.”

“Why would you worry for me?”

“When I see a friend in anguish, I cannot help but be concerned.” He scratched at the stubble of his tonsured head. “Perhaps that is what separates us from the beasts.”

I swallowed the last of the porridge. It clogged in my throat.

“Is it not that we commit sin?” I asked. “We hurt one another when it is not necessary to do so. Animals only kill to eat.”