I walk out of the kitchen house shaking.

Up in Missus’s room, I lay out her soaps and scrubbing brushes. She’s spread an evening gown out on the bed to change into when she’s finished.

“Sarah,” she says, coming into the room, and I jump near out of my skin.

“What on earth is the matter with you?” she asks. “You’re acting like a spooked cat.”

I lay my shaking hands against my belly and breathe deep trying to get my nerves in control. “I’m fine, ma’am. Just a little tired, I guess.” I cross over to where she’s laid her clothes. “That’s a right pretty dress, ma’am.”

She smiles. “After three days of roving the countryside, I wanted to greet your master home in style.”

“Then I best go back for the hot buckets,” I say, ducking quick out of the room. I need to be away from her before she figures out I’m hiding something and wants to know what.

Maple ignores me when I step into the kitchen, but the water’s on the cookstove, boiling hot. I lug each bucket, one by one, up to the copper bath. When I’m done, I stick my hand in to test the water.

Missus calls my name sharply, and I jump.

“Well, you’re about to leap right out of your skin,” she laughs. “Help me with this tie,” she says.

I loosen the bow knotted at her back.

“I know what’s going on with you,” she says.

My heart flails like a fish fighting the hook. She couldn’t have seen me. She’s never anywhere but the front rooms.

“I do believe that blacksmith has turned your head right around. I mean, imagine being in your position and hearing a white man speak to you about love and marriage. That’s the most disgraceful part. I’m sure you had no earthly idea how wicked it all was. And now you’re all unsettled. Don’t you worry, Sarah. I know just how to settle you.”

“I’m fine Missus,” I say, stepping away from her. “You need anything else before I go?”

She sits on her lounge chair and pats the corner for me to join her. I perch on the end with one half of my bottom.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry and have a husband and some children,” she says. “And I know just the right one for you. I haven’t forgotten that you were fond of Red before all this happened. I remember he gave you that headscarf you used to wear.”

I pinch my mouth closed and look at the floor.

“Oh, Sarah. I understand,” Missus sighs. “Scripture says no one was made to be alone. I’ll talk to your master,” she says and turns me out of her room to take her bath.

I stand at the other side of her closed door, listening to the bathwater slosh as she washes. It’s a good while before I can get my feet to move.

By the time Master comes home with Bessie and Red, I’ve near about bitten my nails off. I tell Bessie a story about squirrels digging at Ben’s grave and, just like I thought, she goes straight out there without even looking in the cabin. Then I go find Red.