“I’ll blow us all up,” Doc says. “If that’s what it takes. We have to protect the ship. Or I could just have Victria shoot you. Yes. We’ll do that. It would leave less of a mess.”

“I . . . I don’t know how,” she says softly.

“It’s very easy, dear,” Doc says. “Just point and squeeze the trigger. At this distance, you won’t miss her.”

His words mean something. I’m sure of it.

But . . . what?

Amy’s crying. Just one tear, on the edge of her right eye, but I notice it.

Can’t do anything.

Words float around me. Loud. Angry. Pleading.

“If he’s that much of a distraction,” Doc says, “maybe we should kill him now.”

“Not Elder!” Amy shouts, pushing me behind her.

I feel gray.

Fuzzy.

“Elder!” Doc commands loudly. “Show me what’s in your pocket!”

I do.

Wires.

Pretty wires.

Red.

Yellow.

Black.

Wires.

“Put them back in the Phydus machine,” Doc orders. “You know you want to.”

I do.

I do want to.

I shuffle toward the Phydus machine.

Something stops me.

Something pulls me back.

I try to keep walking.

I go nowhere.

“Amy,” Doc warns. “Don’t try to stop him.”

“Elder,” Amy’s voice whispers in my ear. “Elder, fight it. Fight it. You don’t want to start the Phydus machine again. You don’t have to rule with drugs. You’re good enough the way you are. Fight it. Be yourself.”

“Amy,” Doc warns. “You know I’ll kill you. Or him. You know I will.”

My legs move up and down, and I move forward again.

To the Phydus machine.

To put back in the wires.

Like I always knew I’d have to.

Chapter 66

66

AMY

ELDER STANDS NEXT TO THE PHYDUS MACHINE, THE WIRES in his hand, but he doesn’t seem able to hook them up. He’s motionless, staring at the console. I wonder how long he’s carried those wires in his pocket. He must put them there every day when he dresses, the same way I put on my necklace or wrap my hair. Has he carried them around with him all this time because he wanted to remember the way things were and should never be again . . . or because he wanted to remind himself that he had the same power to control people that Eldest had, if he chose to use it?

Doc stares into the glass at Orion. “He entrusted me with everything. I let him live. I helped him escape. He kept himself hidden from me for a long time—I didn’t know he was the Recorder; I didn’t know he was right beside me all those years. But before you froze him, he gave me his secrets. And I will not betray his trust the way you betrayed him.”