Vaisey and a few of the girls have been in productions of A Midsummer Night’s Dream before. But I had never even read it. After hearing about Monty and Biffo in the Reeperbahn I am not sure I want to.

Monty said, “But I will show you what I am going to do with the sacred text. I’m going to do this.”

And he kissed his copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and then flung it to the floor dramatically.

He looked at us.

“You are thinking I have gone mad. How can I throw the Bard to the floor? And indeed I can’t.”

He picked up the book. “But what I am saying, girls, is that William would want us to make our own connection with the feelings of love and dreams and with his poetry. You have a young person’s idea of love, you must explore this for yourselves … not be led by someone like me who ‘hath the gray bearde.’”

Jo said, “Erm, who hath the gray bearde?”

I whispered behind my book. “Monty certainly hasn’t. He hasn’t even got the gray mustachey.”

Monty the Beardless was still talking and musing. “Of course, read, read, read the original, girls, his text, drink in the words of his genius. Immerse yourself in the poetry of confused love and imaginary asses.”

Flossie snorted. Monty didn’t notice.

“But in true Dother Hall style, we are going to give the play a modern spin. Go a little bit … avant garde!!! Just to give you an idea and a flavor, I have taken one of the fairy verses and turned it into a song.”

He got out a tambourine and started singing, “I am that merry wanderer of the night …”

And started tap-dancing.

At break I saw Dav and Lav looking over at us.

Lav waved at me. She called over, “We’ll show them what we Oirish can do, bejesus.”

Vaisey said, “She’s really taken to you, hasn’t she? Is it because she’s Irish as well?”

I said, “No, but her dad has got an Irish gardener.”

Please don’t let her be my new best friend.

I said to Vaisey, “I hope she doesn’t try to be my mental.”

She said, “Mentor.”

I said, “I know what I mean.”

Flossie said, “I’m going to ask Honey how she manages having a few boyfwends on the go. Because if I got the knack I could have Seth and maybe even that nice Charlie as a sort of side dish and that still leaves room for meeting someone at The Jones’s gig on Saturday.”

What?? Why was she talking about Charlie? Not that I care as I am forgetting about him. Whoever he is.

Flossie said, “Actually, speaking about Charlie, I thought he quite liked you, Lullah. It’s funny that he didn’t ask you to the cinema last term. I thought he was going to, didn’t you?”

Vaisey said, “Yeah, so did I!”

I said, “Mmmmmmmffff.”

Which just about sums it up, actually.