My nostrils flared and I smelled Lou as our connection slammed open. Suddenly, I felt…calm. My chest loosened. I could breathe normally, and the world snapped back into focus. Not only was I covered in flop-sweat, but I’d also snapped the arms off my chair. I put them on the table. “I’m sorry. I’ll pay for that.”

“Perhaps we should get one of the guards to fetch an inhibitor collar.” Elliot’s words were calm, almost detached. “Just in case.”

“I hardly think that’s necessary,” Patrice said, but she looked to Prisha while she said it.

An inhibitor collar was designed to separate the shifter from his animal. It was mostly used on criminals. My father wore one in prison. How badly had I freaked out?

Prisha, the animal mage, moved until she was closer to the table. Her lips were turned down, her brown eyes hard. She was already unhappy with us, and Woodbridge was suggesting collars. Fuck. I’d made things worse.

“I had to ask for permission to use the bond to calm you,” Lou said softly, ignoring the tribunal. “I’m so sorry. The calm—it’s artificial. I can remove it, if you like. I don’t want to override your feelings, but we were concerned—you weren’t responding.”

“Leave it,” I snapped. The Tribunal frowned collectively, and I took another steadying breath. “It’s okay, Lou. Thank you. I didn’t think—I’d hoped—” I’d hoped that this wouldn’t remind me so much of the last time I was dragged into a courtroom. That was the other funny thing about trauma. It was hard to tell sometimes what was going to trigger it. For the first year after my sister and I got out of the cult, we couldn’t eat certain foods that reminded us of the place. I still couldn’t look at a bowl of Cream of Wheat without getting nauseated.

And sometimes…sometimes you were fine. You forgot for a bit that anything happened to you. Then a little thing like sitting in front of the Tribunal brings it all roaring back.

I held fast to Lou’s hand. “I’m sorry. I’m fine.”

“No reason to be sorry,” Lou said.

I shook my head, because she was wrong. I should have warned her, but I didn’t want to. I just…wanted her to keep looking at me and seeing me and not the scared kid I used to be.

Prisha’s lips were a thin line. She crossed her arms and glared at Lou. “You need to remove the binding, now.” She stopped Lou from arguing. “I don’t care how or why it happened. We can decide your punishment after we free your wolf. It’s clearly affecting him—”

“No.” I wiped my sweating palms on my jeans. I’d been thinking about what I’d said earlier to comfort Lou, and as my panic receded, I suddenly really wanted to be Lou’s familiar. I just didn’t want to explain why. “The binding stays.”

Prisha’s eyes were sad now, and full of the pity I hated oh so much. “Declan, I don’t think you understand what’s happened. You’re being affected by the binding. Your thoughts aren’t your own and Lou’s emotions are influencing you—”