“You disgraced me last night, do you know that?”

“Just fuck off, Catherine, and don’t come back.”

She went away again. The next time she came to his room she was partly dressed and smelt of male bodyspray. She laid a hand on his forehead. “Please, Jack, forgive me. Please let me lie beside you.”

“No.”

“What am I to do with the other ticket?”

“Bring Helen, bring anyone you want.”

“Jack. Jack. I can’t go away without your blessing,” she said.

He remained quiet. She moved round the bedrooms as she packed her bag. Then she sat on the bed again.

“Jack, please.” She was crying.

But he would not look at her. She stood at the door of the study.

“You’ll be sorry,” she said.

He turned and looked at her.

“I know I’ll be sorry,” he said.

33. Popular Songs

33

Popular Songs

Now Jack, on certain nights, would find the sexual scent of Catherine on the breeze. But he could not reach her. She was off on another island, and he was trapped on his. The more she stayed away from him, the stronger she would get. A note arrived a few weeks later telling him to send her mail to Dublin. Then another note came to say she was coming to collect her belongings. He stayed out of the house for four days so that she could do that without him being there.

On the fourth day she arrived with her mother. She stepped out of the Lada. She looked brown and beautiful and not his. Though she was still in her fifties, Maisie’s hair had gone totally grey. Little worry lines had etched themselves in folds beneath her eyes. She looked at Catherine in consternation when Jack appeared.

“I thought you might like a hand to move your stuff,” he said.

“No, thank you,” said Catherine. “We can manage fine.”

“Hallo, Mrs Adams,” he said.

“Hallo,” she replied and stepped inside.

“Catherine,” said Jack.

“I’d be grateful if you’d leave this house as soon as you can,” she said. “I am sure you are aware that none of my family can stay here while you remain.”

She put her head down like a goose and sped by.

In her absence, life became one grey hallucination. He was waiting for his body and his brain to return to normal. He phoned the theatre and spoke to Eddie. “Things are going well,” Eddie said. “We have found the money, we should go into rehearsal in a few months.”

“Will you be using Catherine?”

“I think we will, Jack.”