It was rare that she permitted herself to even think about it. The memory of her pregnancy was her most precious jewel, locked away until the occasion it was needed. Tonight was such an occasion. Tonight she would allow herself to remember that fleeting primal joy, once the immense shock of realizing she was pregnant had waned, that had infused every cell and atom of her being, before worry and apprehension had quenched it.

Brigid’s eyes closed and her thoughts drifted back to all those years before when she’d loved, and thought she’d been loved in return, and her body and spirit had felt vibrant and alive in a way it had never been before or since.

*

‘Maura brought Brigid up a glass of brandy, Keelin. If I were you, I’d leave her alone until the morning,’ Una murmured, putting her arm around her friend’s shoulder. They were sitting in the kitchen having a cup of tea, the detritus of the party all around them. The guests who were staying in the hotel had departed, and the nuns had all gone to their rooms, distressed and dismayed at what had unfolded. The minibus driver had told Keelin and Armand that he’d come back for them after dropping the others off.

Armand was in the big parlour removing all the party accoutrements and stacking dirty plates and glasses. Marie-Claire was helping Maura divide leftover bourguignon and chicken tagine into containers.

‘She won’t drink that brandy,’ Keelin sighed. ‘I could do with one myself.’

‘Me too!’ Una grimaced. ‘She will drink it, Maura insisted and she didn’t argue. What in the name of God possessed Imelda? I mean, it was one thing to have a go at Brigid about what she sees as the unfairness of her entering the convent and leaving her to take care of the parents. But the other stuff! Lord above, there was no need for that – and in front of Mother General too.’ She shook her head, still in shock at the viciousness of Imelda’s attack.

‘Marie-Claire and Armand are so angry with me now. Armand blames me because I made him keep it secret. Well, the secret’s well and truly out now. Rita Sheedy won’t be able to keep it to herself – it will be all over Ardcloch and Glencarraig in no time. I’ll never be able to go back there. Not that I’d want to.’ Keelin’s hand shook, raising her cup to her mouth. ‘There’ll be no going back from this. She’s caused a rift that will never be healed.’

‘Time heals. This too will pass,’ Una counselled sagely, patting her friend’s shoulder.

Keelin shook her head. ‘Imagine hating your mother,’ she said sombrely. ‘Because tonight I certainly hate mine! If I ever see her again it will be too soon.’

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE