BooksBarbecue
Back A Change of Circumstance Save as PDF
Chapters (67)
  1. Cover
  2. One
  3. Two
  4. Three
  5. Four
  6. Five
  7. Six
  8. Seven
  9. Eight
  10. Nine
  11. Ten
  12. Eleven
  13. Twelve
  14. Thirteen
  15. Fourteen
  16. Fifteen
  17. Sixteen
  18. Seventeen
  19. Eighteen
  20. Nineteen
  21. Twenty
  22. Twenty-One
  23. Twenty-Two
  24. Twenty-Three
  25. Twenty-Four
  26. Twenty-Five
  27. Twenty-Six
  28. Twenty-Seven
  29. Twenty-Eight
  30. Twenty-Nine
  31. Thirty
  32. Thirty-One
  33. Thirty-Two
  34. Thirty-Three
  35. Thirty-Four
  36. Thirty-Five
  37. Thirty-Six
  38. Thirty-Seven
  39. Thirty-Eight
  40. Thirty-Nine
  41. Forty
  42. Forty-One
  43. Forty-Two
  44. Forty-Three
  45. Forty-Four
  46. Forty-Five
  47. Forty-Six
  48. Forty-Seven
  49. Forty-Eight
  50. Forty-Nine
  51. Fifty
  52. Fifty-One
  53. Fifty-Two
  54. Fifty-Three
  55. Fifty-Four
  56. Fifty-Five
  57. Fifty-Six
  58. Fifty-Seven
  59. Fifty-Eight
  60. Fifty-Nine
  61. Sixty
  62. Sixty-One
  63. Sixty-Two
  64. Sixty-Three
  65. Sixty-Four
  66. Sixty-Five
  67. Sixty-Six

Sam did not make any coffee, he put his cheese plate in the sink and was away, thundering down the three flights of stairs, embarrassed, upset, annoyed with himself – probably all three.

Simon went back into the sitting room and stood at the windows. There was an icy drizzle in the air, blurring the edges of the lamplight as it fell in soft circles on the grass, the paths. He felt for Sam. What had happened was the worst way to find out about the other person’s love affair, apart from being told about it by a gloating friend. But Sam was twenty, he had life ahead, and loves. Love.

Forty-Five

Greta went straight back into the kitchen, because the house was cold and she needed to switch the heating timer back on, and because she could not bear to linger for a second in the hall.

‘Do you want more tea? Have you had anything to eat? Jeff?’ No reply. She called his name out again. ‘What are you doing?’

He came to the doorway, his face like a death mask, lines and furrows, sunken flesh seeming to have formed and settled themselves over a few hours when they should have taken years. Nothing would restore youth and hope to him, nor ever return him to the deceitful happiness he had known briefly.

Greta did not want to look in the mirror at her own face, knowing that it would have aged and crumpled in the same way.

‘I can make us something.’

He went on staring round him as if trying to work out where he was, in this house that was so long familiar and yet strangely unknown, unrecognisable.

‘I haven’t made up the spare bed, I use that room for my quilting stuff now.’

He shook his head.

‘Jeff, you should go back, go to your wife and boys, your own home. Ring a taxi. You’ll be needed there.’

‘I’m needed here.’

‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘You’re not. You were, you were needed by me, and by Livi, you will never ever begin to know how much we needed you, but that’s over.’

‘I can’t go back.’

‘You’re a coward, Jeff.’ She filled the kettle.

‘I looked but I couldn’t picture her.’

‘What?’

‘From the banister. She was so skinny, Greta, she was so small, she weighed nothing, it ought not have worked.’

‘Well, that’s what happened, isn’t it?’

She did not look at him, just got her phone, rang the cab firm. Poured tea.

Jeff sat down at the table, his shoulders hunched over, rising and falling as he sobbed.

So many sentences slid across Greta’s mind but left no trace and she knew she had nothing else to say to him and never would.

‘You’re a coward’ had been all, and it was simply the truth and not an accusation.

Forty-Six