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Back A Change of Circumstance Save as PDF
Chapters (67)
  1. Cover
  2. One
  3. Two
  4. Three
  5. Four
  6. Five
  7. Six
  8. Seven
  9. Eight
  10. Nine
  11. Ten
  12. Eleven
  13. Twelve
  14. Thirteen
  15. Fourteen
  16. Fifteen
  17. Sixteen
  18. Seventeen
  19. Eighteen
  20. Nineteen
  21. Twenty
  22. Twenty-One
  23. Twenty-Two
  24. Twenty-Three
  25. Twenty-Four
  26. Twenty-Five
  27. Twenty-Six
  28. Twenty-Seven
  29. Twenty-Eight
  30. Twenty-Nine
  31. Thirty
  32. Thirty-One
  33. Thirty-Two
  34. Thirty-Three
  35. Thirty-Four
  36. Thirty-Five
  37. Thirty-Six
  38. Thirty-Seven
  39. Thirty-Eight
  40. Thirty-Nine
  41. Forty
  42. Forty-One
  43. Forty-Two
  44. Forty-Three
  45. Forty-Four
  46. Forty-Five
  47. Forty-Six
  48. Forty-Seven
  49. Forty-Eight
  50. Forty-Nine
  51. Fifty
  52. Fifty-One
  53. Fifty-Two
  54. Fifty-Three
  55. Fifty-Four
  56. Fifty-Five
  57. Fifty-Six
  58. Fifty-Seven
  59. Fifty-Eight
  60. Fifty-Nine
  61. Sixty
  62. Sixty-One
  63. Sixty-Two
  64. Sixty-Three
  65. Sixty-Four
  66. Sixty-Five
  67. Sixty-Six

‘But that is the machine,’ he said now. ‘The machine is breathing for her perfectly and it could go on breathing for her for a very long time but that’s all it can do, it cannot restore her to life as a functioning human being, it can just breathe for her in this mechanical way. It can’t feel for her, see for her, hear for her, know anything for her, or make her conscious. It can’t reach or affect her brain. She has no function there now. She can never have that again.’

Jeff’s tears fell and fell and to Greta it seemed that he was crying for them both, he had taken over like the machine, because she could not cry. She might never cry again. This was something far beyond anything that tears were for.

‘I know how hard this is. But please tell me that you understand everything I’ve explained to you – if you don’t I will explain it again, as many times as you need me to. There is no hurry now.’

No hurry now.

‘Please . . .’ Greta felt as if she had been dried up, dried out inside herself, so that she could not even moisten her lips. ‘Jeff?’

But Jeff was beyond words as she was beyond tears.

‘Just nod,’ she said to him.

After a moment, he did so.

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I understand. We do. Thank you. You’ve been very clear and kind, very kind. Please do what you have to. She isn’t here now, is she?’

The nurse beside her took her hand.

And then everyone in the small space looked at the girl on the bed. The doctor reached over to the controls on the machine. Nothing happened. It went very quiet but nothing else happened, nothing happened to her daughter or would ever happen again. Greta saw that the rising and falling had stopped and at that moment joy flared up within her because nothing could touch or harm Olivia ever again, she was free.

She looked different, changed in a moment, further away, a wisp on the bed.

Jeff made a terrible sound, an animal sound, a sob and a howl of anguish together, and blundered his way out of the room.

Greta went closer to the bed and touched Liv’s hand. Two nurses were swiftly unclipping wires, gently removing the ventilator tube from her, so that within seconds Olivia was stripped of everything that had come between them. Only her child remained. Greta bent to kiss her cheek and her forehead, stroke her hair. What or why were not questions she bothered with, not now, not yet, those would come, like everything else, but here and now, nothing came, not even grief, and the quiet room was filled only with love and acceptance.

‘Thank you,’ she said.