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Chapters (60)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. 26
  29. 27
  30. 28
  31. 29
  32. 30
  33. 31
  34. 32
  35. 33
  36. 34
  37. 35
  38. 36
  39. 37
  40. 38
  41. 39
  42. 40
  43. 41
  44. 42
  45. 43
  46. 44
  47. 45
  48. 46
  49. 47
  50. 48
  51. 49
  52. 50
  53. 51
  54. 52
  55. 53
  56. 54
  57. 55
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. About the author
  60. Copyright

Camp was moved close to the site of the burned-out shack to maximize time in the field. From his bivvy bag Chandler looked up at the stars, sleep as far away from him as they were from the earth, wondering if his children were watching the same sky, wishing once again that he had taught them some of the constellations for navigation purposes. As a good father rather than an absent one. The shame pushed sleep even further from his mind, the faces of his children now dotted amongst the same constellations.

He climbed out of the bag, the night air attacking his sweat-soaked clothes. The shaking began, quickly taking over his entire body. He couldn’t control the muscle spasms and involuntary twitches. He couldn’t control them and he didn’t want to. He glanced around at the rest of the team. They were asleep, the soundness of their slumber irritating him further. He could understand their exhaustion but not how they could sleep when his kids were still out here somewhere. He tried to remember what day of the week it was. He failed. All he knew was that it was day nine – AD 9. Nine days after his world collapsed.

54

2002

He watched Arthur sink to the earth, his legs surrendering, staring at the decomposing camel as Chandler eased Davie away from it. The image and odour of the rotting corpse proclaimed the truth more succinctly than Chandler ever could; nothing survives out here for long.

‘It’s over,’ he said to Arthur, so softly he was initially unsure he had even uttered it. He eased the boy away further.

‘It’s over,’ repeated Arthur, all hope gone.

The utter relief that burned Chandler’s guts felt shameful, nauseous at having forced them to give up.

Chandler looked at the boy. He too was lost, staring at Chandler with an expression that cried out for meaning. Chandler had none to impart. He must have understood it was over, but whether he understood that he would never see his brother again, Chandler didn’t know. Given the finality of Arthur’s last two words, nothing needed to be said, the day continuing forth, life continuing on evermore, the wind easing through the trees like a silent assassin, the sun crossing the sky in the same brooding silence.

Chandler cast his eye around for the last time. Martin was out here somewhere, enjoying the same silence, dead now, his eyes eaten out, his tongue too, the soft fleshy parts the first to go. Eventually, after all the flesh was picked clean, he would turn into a cluster of bones, slowly bleaching yellow in the unforgiving sun.

55

The picture formed as he stood shaking. Sarah and Jasper, their bodies slowly rotting away, abandoned to the earth.