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Chapters (60)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1
  4. 2
  5. 3
  6. 4
  7. 5
  8. 6
  9. 7
  10. 8
  11. 9
  12. 10
  13. 11
  14. 12
  15. 13
  16. 14
  17. 15
  18. 16
  19. 17
  20. 18
  21. 19
  22. 20
  23. 21
  24. 22
  25. 23
  26. 24
  27. 25
  28. 26
  29. 27
  30. 28
  31. 29
  32. 30
  33. 31
  34. 32
  35. 33
  36. 34
  37. 35
  38. 36
  39. 37
  40. 38
  41. 39
  42. 40
  43. 41
  44. 42
  45. 43
  46. 44
  47. 45
  48. 46
  49. 47
  50. 48
  51. 49
  52. 50
  53. 51
  54. 52
  55. 53
  56. 54
  57. 55
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. About the author
  60. Copyright

His bubble of fear only had room for one. Even watching Mitch comfort Teri meant nothing to him. The whole world could swallow him up as long as he found them.

As the days wound on they started to blend into one, the fleeting, often impromptu fits of slumber nothing more than restless dozes that made him feel ill with shame, before commencing another arduous shift. Days were characterized by long shifts and false hopes, sightings that turned out to be nothing but a fallen log or campfire long since dormant. And with each of these discoveries he understood. For the first time he truly understood what the Taylors had gone through, the fluttering highs and crashing lows, his entire existence distilled into nothing other than walking, searching and trying to maintain hope. Calling out their names in the faint hope of hearing something in return. The volunteers shouted their names too. He wanted to tell them all to shut up and to let his children breathe.

He slammed his fist into a tree. It shook but stood firm. The pain carried through his knuckles and up his arm but failed to shake the terrifying thoughts from his head.

52

As the search wound down on its fourth day Chandler was angry. He, more than anyone else, recognized the telltale signs of people beginning to lose belief. It had only been four days. It would be another ten before the kids would be in serious trouble of starvation. Dehydration was, of course, a different beast. He had snapped at Luka yesterday for staring at his phone as he trekked through the woods. Today he had torn a strip from some poor constable dragged in from Newman who had dared wonder if the kids were dead already. Nick and Mitch practically had to drag Chandler away, pointing him in a direction he had never been before and letting him loose to walk off the anger like a wind-up toy.

The past played on his mind. How they had given up on Martin. How the teenager could have been out there and alive, if only they had chanced upon him. But nature buried everything eventually, including the sins of the past.