I nod to one of the signs hanging above the couch that I never paid much attention to before. A garish black and gold one that reads, Before you bag her, sheath your dagger!

Good god, what have I gotten myself into?

I end up writing down a list of tasks for Serena to hand out to the girls. Yes, one of them is “go buy condoms”. There better be a petty cash fund around here because I sure as fuck am not paying for that out of my purse.

“Any questions?” I ask the girls.

No one answers.

“Good. Serena has the list of things we need done around here before the party. If you have questions, ask her. If you need an assignment, let her know. If you think of anything we haven’t covered, come find me.”

Serena stares at me with her big, pretty blue doll eyes. “Are you sure about this, Lilly?”

“I trust you. Unless, you don’t want—”

“No, no, it’s fine. I got it.”

“Thank you.” I leave her and make my way over to Charlotte at the bar.

She slow claps and grins at me as I approach. “Very nice. You’ll be a boss bitch biker’s ol’ lady in no time, Lilly.”

I give her a love-shove, almost knocking her off her barstool, and she laughs even harder.

“What the fuck?”

She’s still laughing and I contemplate shoving her again. She wags her finger at me and sputters out, “Don't be a fool, cover your tool.”

“Oh, shut up. Seriously, I don’t remember bowls of condoms all over upstate.”

“In the champagne room and probably some of the guest rooms upstairs…The bathrooms…Yup, upstate’s as dirty as downstate. We’re just a whole lot classier.”

I snort and tap her glass. “You get into the liquor while you were putting it away?”

“This is seltzer.” She lifts her chin. “That mouthy one coming back?”

“God, I hope not.” I pick at the napkin in front of me, shredding it into pieces. “How the hell does Hope stand this?”

Charlotte sips her drink and sets it down before answering. “I don’t think she does. From what I understand, Trinity’s always been in charge of the clubhouse.”

“No, I mean the girls that just have to let you know—”

“Oh, the former bunnies. Gotcha. I’m pretty sure Rock banished every single one who gave Hope lip.”

“Ugh, that doesn’t help. Those two are from out of town anyway.”

She glances down and taps her nails against her glass a few times. “Teller’s mentioned that Z was out on the road a lot more than most of the guys over the last few years.”

I open my mouth to respond, then think better of it. Z’s hinted he spent lots of time on the road after I left.

Because of me. Because I left.