Crosby met my gaze from across the room. There was no signature smirk on his face now. Only lines of worry etched deep into his skin. His arm wrapped around his fiancée as she leaned against his chest. I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d ever get to feel that weight again. The heaviness of Caelyn’s head resting over my heart.

I forced myself to look away. But I was only met with more grief. Will and Ava next to me, his arm rubbing up and down her back as she stared off into space. Bell sat on their opposite side, gripping a water bottle so tightly, I was shocked it hadn’t exploded all over her.

The visceral pain of every person in the room seemed to clog the air. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. Kenna seemed to see my panic because she stood and held out her hands. “Let me take her for a little bit. You get some air.”

“Thank you,” I croaked, carefully handing Mia over. As soon as she rested in Kenna’s arms, not waking, I bolted from the room. But I had nowhere to go. I didn’t want to leave the floor, let alone the hospital. So I simply paced, up and down the short stretch of hallway, my feet squeaking against the linoleum each time I turned to head in the other direction. Just as I reached the opposite end for the fifth time, I almost collided with Ford.

He halted. “You okay?” I only grunted. “All right, that was a stupid question. Of course, you’re not okay. What can I do?”

“Turn back the clock. Not allow me to leave them unprotected.” Each of the words burned a trail of pain and guilt up my throat.

Ford’s expression hardened. “You didn’t leave them unprotected. You left them with a state-of-the-art security system in place.”

“I shouldn’t have left them at all,” I bellowed. And I would never forgive myself for it.

Ford gripped my shoulders, his fingers digging into the muscles there and giving me a good shake. “Do not let yourself go there, man. It’s not going to help the kids or Caelyn. You need to keep your head on straight. You can’t lose it.”

I gave a jerky nod. “I’m fucking terrified.”

Ford pulled me into a hard hug. “I know. But Caelyn is strong. If anyone can beat this, it’s her.”

“Mr. Lockwood?”

I turned to face a doctor, who stood with the same nurse that had given me the clean scrubs. “Yes. How’s Caelyn? Is she okay?”

I couldn’t read a thing from the doctor’s face. She looked to be in her fifties, the picture of professionalism with her braids woven into a tight bun atop her head and a carefully blank expression on her face. “She’s being moved from recovery to ICU now.”