And there was the reason for the tears. I couldn’t fathom the pain that carved into a person. To have a parent betray you like that. I pressed my lips to the top of Caelyn’s head. “She doesn’t deserve you. Never did.”

Caelyn’s hands fisted in my t-shirt. “She said she’s sober. Has been for six years. I thought if that ever happened, she’d care. That if you took away the booze and the pills, maybe she’d be like she should’ve been all along. But she doesn’t care, Griffin. She never did. What is it about me that’s so unlovable?”

My arms spasmed at her words, flinching and tightening around her. “There isn’t a damn thing about you that’s unlovable, Caelyn. She’s the one who’s broken. And you can’t take on someone else’s brokenness. That’s theirs to carry.”

“I feel like no matter what I do, no matter how often I tell myself it’s not worth it or how much evidence I stack in front of myself, I still want her love. And I hate myself for it.”

I rubbed a hand up and down Caelyn’s back, my fingers dancing over the ridges in her spine. “It’ll probably always be there, the pain of losing what you always wanted but never had. But the hurt of it, the longing, it’ll lessen. The fuller your life, the less you’ll notice she’s not in it.”

Caelyn tipped her head back so that her chin was resting on my sternum. “How’d you get so wise?”

I smiled. “You get a lot of thinking time when you work on a house alone.” Her lips were a breath away from mine. I wanted to kiss her so badly it was a physical ache. I wanted to lose myself in her mouth and steal all her pain.

“We’ve been keeping you from that alone time.”

“Worth it.” The only problem was, I never wanted them to leave.

29

Caelyn

I tipped my face up to the sun, letting its warmth seep into me.

“Whatcha doin’, Cae Cae?” Mia asked, coming to a stop next to me.

“I’m soaking up all the warm and happies.” Because after yesterday, I needed all of that I could get. I still felt like I had a bit of a crying hangover, and Griffin had been treating me like spun glass. But mostly, I was better. I’d just needed to let it out. All that toxic stuff I held inside and so rarely let anyone see. But after airing it, releasing it, I felt so much lighter.

She giggled. “I thought we were supposed to be helping Griffin.”

I opened my eyes and looked down at Mia. “You’re right.” I held out a hand, and she took it. “Let’s get rid of some ugly bushes.”

Her face scrunched up. “They are pretty ugly.”