“A mom isn’t just someone who shares your blood. They’re supposed to look out for you, take care of you, love you. She never seemed to be able to figure that out. Caelyn is more of a mom than Chrissy will ever be.” He paused, letting the tool come to rest by his side. “Would ever be. Not like she’s going to get a chance to make things right now.”

My heart ached for the kid. No matter how much his mom had let him down, a part of him had still been holding onto hope that she’d get it together. “You’re allowed to be sad. Just because she was a crappy mom most of the time doesn’t mean there isn’t a part of you that won’t miss her.”

Will’s jaw clenched, and he sent the hammer into the wall again. “I’m not sad.” He wailed on the wall another few times.

“Then what are you?”

Will whirled on me. “What is this? Some messed up therapy session? I don’t want to talk about it.”

I considered my words carefully as if each one had the potential to set off a landmine. “You can’t keep holding all of this inside.” After spending the past few months working alongside Will, I’d started to realize that he stuffed everything down. He didn’t want to be a burden to his sister, to worry her, so he simply kept silent and pretended that he wasn’t feeling anything at all.

“Why not? Isn’t that exactly what you do?”

I sucked in a sharp breath, opening my mouth to deny his accusation and then thought better of it. “I used to. And it almost killed me.” Will was silent, but his eyes were intensely focused. “After my family died and so many people betrayed me, I didn’t have a safe outlet for my pain. I shoved it all down. Just like you’re doing now. But the thing is, pain finds a way to the surface, and it’s usually ugly if you’ve been trying to control it.”

“What happened?” he whispered.

“I started drinking so much, it’s a miracle I didn’t end up with liver failure. I needed six or seven drinks just to quiet the memories so I could sleep. And during the day, I was barely living.” Memories of the years I’d spent just traveling the country flooded my mind. I had no purpose and was so damn alone.

“I’ve never seen you drunk.”