I shrugged the broken arm off my shoulder, letting it drop to the ground. It immediately started feeling its way back to its body, crawling on all fingers like a giant spider. Saba approached to retrieve it. It was now or never. I rushed forward, stabbing Saba in the knee and twisting, breaking off her leg with a subtle click. She lost her balance, stumbling to the only knee she had left, and I dodged to get around her.

Something grabbed my leg, tripping me. The impact on the ground sent my head spinning and my knife skittering into the shadows. I slammed my foot on the ground, breaking the fingers of the dismembered hand from my ankle, and launched myself at Saba, managing to tackle her to the ground before she could get her leg fully attached to her body again.

In the streets I would’ve punched her, but I couldn’t afford to slice open my right hand, too—my welding hand. So instead I reached over for the metal shovel, having to knock over the entire bin of tools to get to it. Saba grabbed me with her good arm, her strength keeping me from the shovel, even with one hand, and I made the mistake of looking at her. And feeling a twinge of guilt at the fear widening her eyes.

“Then let me go, Saba,” I pleaded, for her welfare and my own conscience. I didn’t want to feel my friend’s body break beneath my force, even if there were no signs that it hurt her.

She shook her head vehemently. Her goal was clearly to protect herself. Part of me respected that. I’d been doing it all my life.

But her intention meant that, for the moment, I could no longer see her as a friend—if ever again, but I’d deal with those emotions another time. For now, my good survival habits were urging me to remove the obstacle blocking me from what I needed.

So be it, then.

I grabbed her arm with both of mine and pinned her. Managed to grab the shovel and broke her arm at the shoulder with the narrow end. Stood, and did the same thing to her last leg. Then swiped them under my bed, so they’d have further to crawl to get to her body.

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, barely able to look at her terror-stricken expression. I snatched up my satchel of supplies and raced out of the room.