Still, if I pushed him much more, a small dose of rage-adrenaline might be all he needed, and I had no desire to wake up behind the church with my eyes swollen shut.

“The room flooded with blood,” I blurted quickly. “And it’s done it before.” Jember lifted his staff off the ground, and I took the opportunity to rush out into the hall. “He said the last time it happened it drowned him alive.”

Jember knocked the staff against the stone wall, testing its strength. “He saw the Manifestation, assumed he’d drown, and the fear made his body mimic symptoms.”

I paused. “That’s possible. But—” I stumbled sideways and pressed my hand to the side of my head, nearly biting off my tongue. Sharp pain radiated through my scalp and I blinked a few times to clear my vision from the impact, only for it to be clouded again by tears. Stupid eyes, tearing. Traitors. “So it wasn’t a dangerous Manifestation? Nothing to worry about?”

“You cannot drown and also be alive.” Jember was in no rush to pursue me, walking, tapping the staff against the wall. “How did you secure a client without a license?”

I backed up to match his approach. This time I wouldn’t be caught off guard. “He considered no licensure a benefit.”

His eyes narrowed slightly. “In order to pay you less?” I could tell his mind was running through all the options of my circumstance, and it wouldn’t be long before he landed on the correct one. Would he help me if he knew I was working a job he himself had refused?

“He paid me enough. I haven’t starved to death, have I?”

He’d nearly herded me out to the main sanctuary, but suddenly stopped. “You can’t keep this up much longer without a license. And you don’t have the skill level to pursue a patronage.”

“Whose fault is that?” I felt my face get hot, hate for him rising up again. “You said marry a stranger or live on the street. You gave me no choice but to take matters into my own hands.”

“Are you looking for a new mentor?”

“What do you care, old man? You left me to die.”

I stumbled back, the wind of the maqomiya’s rush tickling my nose. I winced as it splintered against the wall, bracing myself against the opposite one to avoid the end that snapped and skittered across the ground. We were silent as it rolled and finally came to a stop. I never saw it, only heard, because I was glaring at him as he glared at me. Hate knotted the back of my throat, trapping my voice … hate to cover the pain, that mingled with fear, that tainted my longing.