“You’re not dying.” I hadn’t meant to raise my voice, and it immediately crushed my adrenaline, the wall that had been blocking everything but survival giving way. I could feel tears burning the backs of my eyes, my hands trembling as I pressed. “You can’t die.”

“If you’re going to leave the area, make sure you get the chest of supplies from home, first.”

“Jember, stop. I’m not going anywhere without you.” I lay against him, my ear to his heart, my arms around him like letting go would disintegrate me. I felt his hand grip my back, his fingers trembling. As long as they trembled there was life in him, at least, as much as it killed me to feel it.

I looked at Saba, who sat beside him, peeling off his glove so she could lace her fingers against his skin. She saw me watching her and gave a small, sad smile, touching my cheek with her smooth, cool hand.

“You said those same words the night we met,” Jember murmured, his breath warm against my hair.

I didn’t remember ever trusting Jember so fully, but I supposed the dark memories had crowded the good ones out. His hand on my back twitched, and I held him closer, as if that would keep the life in him for longer. “Tell me the story.”

“I was on my way to drink myself to death—”

“Jember, no,” I groaned, “don’t tell me that.”

“You wanted the story … anyway, I never got around to it. I saw you walking into the brothel between your parents. You were so small, I remember … I don’t know what came over me. I slipped in, picked you up, and went out the back window.”

“What happened next?” I asked. His voice was getting weaker, but I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to hear his voice for as long as I could.

“We almost got caught because you wouldn’t stop talking.” I could practically feel his eyes roll in his tone, and I laughed. He was quiet for a moment, and I tapped his shoulder firmly to keep him awake. “When I got you home, you said you wouldn’t go anywhere without me … then fell asleep on me, just like this. That’s when I decided I couldn’t die yet. At least not until you could take care of yourself.”

“No, you couldn’t.” I lifted my face to look at him. His eyes were heavy and dark with pain and fatigue. “And you can’t now, either.”

He moved, but I couldn’t tell if it was a wince or a shrug. “You can take care of yourself, Andi. You’ve been able to for a while now.”

“What does that matter?” I practically yelled. “I want you here with me. Stay with me because I’m asking you to…” Sobs choked me briefly, blocking my words. “Please stay.”