I pressed my lips together to stop the giggle escaping then I said, “Douchebag isn’t a really nice word, but that said, your father is entitled to his opinion.”

Grady kept speaking. “Uncle Slim puts up with him but I think he does it for Mom and Aunt Jill ’cause they like ’im but Uncle Levi thinks he’s a douchebag too. I heard him and Uncle Slim talkin’ when Uncle Slim told Uncle Levi to cool it about Grandpa because it was bothering Aunt Jill. But Uncle Levi said that Grandpa never paid child report and he had a bunch of girlfriends other than Grandma so he didn’t owe him anything and neither did Aunt Jill.”

Apparently, Grady had a mind like a sponge, though he got one thing wrong. Child report I was guessing was child support and I was also guessing having a father that didn’t pay it and played around on your mom was not good.

“I like Grandpa!” Ellie piped up.

“Of course you do, honey,” I said, smiling at her from my place leaning against the counter.

“I put up with him like Uncle Slim,” Grady announced.

“Grady’s gonna be Uncle Slim when he grows up,” Dylan, sporting a milk mustache, shared.

Grady did not challenge this information. Instead, he declared proudly, “He played first base and I play first base. He played linebacker and I play linebacker. His job is scary, Mom says, but he does it to keep kids like me safe so that’s what I’m gonna do too. When I get old, I’m gonna keep kids safe.”

I was feeling warm and gushy again.

“That’s a fantastic goal, Grady,” I said quietly.

“Do you got kids?” Dylan asked.

“No, honey, I don’t have any kids.”

“That’s good. When you marry Uncle Slim, you can be mom to Rex and Joel,” Grady offered and I blinked.

“Sorry, honey, who?”

“Rex and Joel, Uncle Slim’s kids, our cousins,” Grady told me. My body went completely still, including my heart and lungs, the warm gushiness evaporated, and Grady kept talking. “Aunt Olivia used to be married to Uncle Slim and Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Jill, Uncle Fritz, and Uncle Levi aren’t her biggest fans. I’m really not allowed to say the word Mom calls her. Dad too. And Uncle Levi said if he saw her again, he’d break her neck.”

I stared at him.

“She has a pinchy face,” Ellie added to the conversation, making her own scrunchy face that stated clearly she felt the same about Aunt Olivia as everyone else did.

“She never brings snickerdoodles to the family reunions,” Dylan put in, then sucked back more milk before he musingly went on. “Or anything.”