I didn’t think a ho in the family was good news but definitely Brock’s family issues were more intense than a dress returned with wine stains.

“Um…” I mumbled. “Brock’s family is working through some issues.”

“Issues?” she asked, leaning back a bit and then again leaning in to confide, “I knew it. Got me a premonition. Woke up and it said, ‘Thanksgivin’ with Tess.’ Tellin’ you, girlfriend, this is better than TV.”

Well, it was good someone was enjoying themselves.

“I can’t wait to see what happens next,” she muttered, then moved away and the away she moved was in the direction of the plethora of wine bottles on the counter.

I could. I could wait to see what would happen next.

And with what did, Elvira was probably not disappointed.

CHAPTER TWELVE

The Coolest Move Ever

AN HOUR AND a half later, I found that, upon calculating the need for dessert, I had not taken into account children who had bottomless stomachs, men who had high metabolisms so they didn’t really need to worry about how much they shoved down their gullets, and women who were experiencing one of six days of the year they could let it all hang out (the others being Christmas, New Year’s, Easter, the Fourth of July, and their birthday).

Let’s just say, even though Fern provided a plentiful and delicious Thanksgiving spread, there weren’t a lot of dessert leftovers.

For dinner, at the big table I was sandwiched between Fritz and Austin, who made it clear, after Levi’s earlier show, that they cast themselves in the roles of my protectors. It was all for one and one for all when it came to being hooked to a member of the Lucas family.

It was also seriously cool and obviously very appreciated.

Brock sat at the head of our table, Fern sat at the foot, and Cob, Jill, Kalie, Laura, and Elvira rounded out our company. Cob being at the big table meant Levi, who Brock somehow talked into rejoining the family festivities, commandeered Lenore and he sat among the card tables set up across the way in the living room with Kellie and her younger cousins.

Although a fair amount of wine and beer were being consumed, the tense atmosphere had not lightened and the only person who seemed oblivious to it was Elvira.

Therefore, I engaged Elvira in conversation, knowing from experience that anytime Elvira spoke, interesting if somewhat surprising and possibly inappropriate things would come out. I did this in the hopes it would lighten the atmosphere.

It did.