See, this was a really weird time for me even before what happened that night. It was right after my breakup with Liam. Six months we’d been together. Personal record. I know that’s longer than most people thought we would last. I was twenty-three. He was thirty-four. Which meant together we were fifty-seven, exactly how old Prince was when he died. I was a former Disney TV child actor turned red-hot pop sensation. He was a shock rocker who’d been mentored by Marilyn Manson and boycotted by conservative religious groups. I didn’t have a single tattoo. He had thirty-two—thirty-three if you count the one he got of my name on his left bicep. Though I saw he recently changed it to Zarathustra, which I guess is some book by this mopey old philosopher dude that has a really long Wikipedia page. Does that count as thirty-four, then?

Anyway, people have Liam all wrong. That whole “prince of darkness” thing is mostly a schtick. Yeah, I said it. An act. It’s phony. He thinks it’s “performance art.” Which is why I called it a schtick. Because he is a total asshole and the thought of making him angry makes me very happy. He has no idea what performance art even is. It’s an actual thing.

In real life, he’s a pretty down-to-earth guy. Likes moonlight drives along the Pacific Coast Highway, rooting for the Dodgers, eating Indian food, and adopting rescue dogs. He already had two pits when we decided to get Pip. It was his idea. He thought it’d be hilarious. Him in his makeup and spooky contact lenses and high-heeled boots walking around with this little poufy Pomeranian. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the same reason he pursued me. If it was all just a joke or a prank. People seeing him as the devil corrupting this perfect angel. I admit that was part of the initial appeal for me. I was tired of being thought of as a goodie-goodie. Which is why I decided to dye my hair blue. I wanted to stir shit up. But it doesn’t matter how it started, because feelings got real. Fast. Most relationships in Hollywood are publicity stunts. Not this one. I’m sure about that. And Liam would say the same thing if you asked him.