It was his filthy gym bag, the one that had stunk up my car, only now it was marvellously clean, the frayed seams had been stitched and reinforced with leather and the Adidas logo touched up with blue thread. Angrily he yanked it open to display the clean and neatly folded clothes inside within a waft of lemon and wildflowers. Only one person I know folds clothes to that level of precision.

‘Molly must have cleaned it,’ I said.

‘No shit,’ he said. ‘She didn’t have no right. It’s my stuff.’

‘Smells nice though,’ I said.

He opened his mouth to say something but it snapped shut when Lesley came running around the corner carrying her baton in one hand and a heavy-duty torch in the other. She’d taken the time to fasten on her mask, but nothing else, and was dressed in a pair of skimpy red and white polka dot low-rise shorts and a sleeveless thermal vest under which her breasts bounced distractingly. Me and Zach both stared like a pair of teenagers, but I managed to drag my eyes back up to her mask before she could hit me with the baton.

‘Good morning,’ said Zach brightly.

I introduced Zach to Lesley and gave her the potted history. ‘I couldn’t leave him in the snow,’ I said. She told us to stop making so much noise and that she was going back to bed.

As she walked away I realised I’d forgotten just how shapely her thighs were and how beautiful the dimples that formed in her buttocks when she walked.

Me and Zach both watched in rapt silence until she’d gone round the corner.

‘That was amazing,’ said Zach.

‘Yes she is,’ I said.

‘So,’ said Zach. ‘Are you two fucking?’

I glared at him.

‘Does that mean you’re not?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘She’s—’

‘Sex on legs,’ said Zach and took a moment to sniff his armpit. Apparently satisfied, he squared his shoulders, twanged the elasticated waist on his Y-fronts and said, ‘Good. There’s nothing like an early start.’ He made to follow Lesley but I stopped him with a hand on the chest. ‘What?’ he asked.

‘Don’t even think about it,’ I said.

‘You can’t have it both ways, bruv,’ he said. ‘Make up your mind.’

‘Did you not notice …’ I hesitated, ‘the injuries?’

‘Some of us look beyond the superficial,’ said Zach.

‘Some of us look beyond someone’s tits,’ I said.

‘I know,’ he said. ‘Did you see that bum?’

‘Do you want me to smack you?’

‘Hey,’ said Zach taking a step back. ‘Just say you’re interested and I won’t give her another thought. Maybe a couple of other thoughts, difficult not to, given the circumstances. Come on, even you can’t be that blind.’

‘It’s none of your business,’ I said.