I don’t have that kind of freedom.

“I do care, Dad.”

“Prove it, then.”

Hours later, when my dad is fast asleep and the rest of the world seems to be as well, I find myself back at the field by our house. I should be sleeping too. God knows I need it since I started my day before any human should, but I can’t get my brain to shut off.

My head is clouded with the misgivings of Jason Harding.

Soccer, that’s what I want. But soccer isn’t going to bring her back, which is all my dad seems to care about now. I don’t even understand why he wants her back. She left us. We weren’t good enough for her.

I wasn’t good enough.

What if I never am?

“Hey.”

I spin around and am almost knocked off my feet before Kai pulls me into his waiting arms.

“What are you doing here? You can’t scare a girl like that.”

“I saw you sneaking out of your house and wanted to see what you were up to. I should’ve known. Do you ever take a break from practicing?” He plants a soft kiss against my lips, chasing away all my demons.

“According to Dad, I take too many.” He frowns at that, and I bring my finger up to smooth the puckered skin between his eyebrows back down. “It’s fine, I just need to get another hour in and I’ll be satisfied.”

He sighs and bends down to pick up the ball by my feet. “Okay then, let’s get started.”

“You’re staying?”

He tilts his head to the side as he considers me. “Did you think I would leave you out here alone?”

We spend the next hour running through drills and laughing the entire time. I remember why I love this sport so much, all thanks to my favorite boy.

Kai quiets the noise.

Kai

Fourteen years old

“You were amazing out there,” I say as I wrap my arms around Olivia and plant a kiss against her soft lips.

She squirms, trying to pull away from me, but I don’t know why she wastes her time. After every practice, she tries to get away from me saying she’s too sweaty and gross for me to kiss her, and every time, I ignore her and hug her and kiss her anyway because there is no better feeling than connecting my lips with hers.

I didn’t think we’d get this far when I asked if I could kiss her last year. The thought had crossed my mind so many times, but for some reason that day I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. If she had said no I would’ve been crushed but she still would’ve been stuck with me as a friend. I could never give her up. I’m just glad she said yes, and now I get to kiss her whenever I want, so if she thinks her being hot and sticky is going to keep me away, she’s crazy.