I have no idea what to do with my hands so I slide them over his shoulders and coil one of his curls around my finger. “As far as first kisses go, that was not bad,” I tease, ignoring the stammering heartbeat in my chest.

He chuckles, and the scent of cinnamon wafts on his breath. “Not bad at all, Olivia. Wanna go for good?”

This time it’s me who kisses him, our unsure head tilts settling into a comfortable rhythm. A perfect fit, just like he said.

By the time we meet up with his parents an hour later, I’ve had my third kiss. And my fourth. And my tenth. Who knew kissing could be this fun?

“Liv, you need to focus.”

I sigh and sink down to the slightly damp ground with my head in my hands. Dad has had me up since the crack of dawn running drills. I play on a rec soccer team during the summer to keep myself in good shape, and I messed up during a game yesterday so Dad has been riding me hard.

“We don’t have time for a break,” he admonishes.

There’s never time for a break. There’s never time for anything but soccer. That used to make me happy, but now it feels suffocating.

“Dad, please.”

“No, Liv. You brought this on yourself. You’ve been spending too much time with that boy. You’re losing focus on what’s important.” If only he knew that in the past few weeks, Kai and I have graduated from just playing video games to playing video games while sneaking in both make-out sessions and gentle kisses. He’d lose it. I don’t care; he can call Kai a distraction all he wants. I’m never giving him up.

I get back to my feet and stretch my neck before signaling him to continue passing me the ball so I can work on my drop kick.

Once he’s worked me until my legs feel like jelly and I’ve done my cool-down jog, I start my stretches in the hopes that he’ll just leave me alone for the rest of the day.

“You know, I’m doing what I can to help you.”

No such luck.

“Yep. I know, Dad.”

“I don’t think you do. You didn’t want to dance. You wanted soccer so badly that I fought for you and then your mom left. Now I’m trying to help you accomplish the goals you said you wanted, and you’re too distracted to care.”

And there it is.

The not-so-subtle dig that I’m the reason Mom left. The reminder that he fought for my love of soccer and that means I somehow owe him all my blood, sweat, and tears. I didn’t know having my parent stand up for me meant I signed away my freedom on the dotted line. I think about Kai’s parents and how they encourage him and Kylie to do what makes them happy. When Kylie decided piano wasn’t for her and wanted to pick up art instead, they didn’t even bat an eye.