‘Shouldn’t have worn my good shirt,’ Nassim said. And he tried to laugh.

‘I don’t understand it,’ I said.

‘I think I do,’ said Nassim, with the first hint of bitterness I had ever heard in his voice.

‘Is she . . . Is my mum a racist?’ I said, but Nassim simply shrugged. We sat in silence for a while longer. ‘This doesn’t change anything for me, you know?’ I said.

Nassim looked at me, a complicated glance I couldn’t read. ‘I wouldn’t expect it to,’ he said.

My phone rang in my pocket. ‘It’s my dad,’ I said.

‘Take it,’ he said. ‘I’ll wait.’ And he stood and walked a few feet away to the bottom of the driveway. I swiped my phone.

‘Dad?’

‘Anna,’ said my dad. ‘I’ve just spoken to Mum.’

‘What the hell was that about?’ I said. ‘What is wrong with her?’

‘Are you okay?’

‘No I’m not okay! Nassim is not okay!’

Nassim gestured at me – Don’t bring me into this.

Dad’s voice came at me down the line, soothing. ‘Anna, I’m going to ask you to do something hard. Okay? I’d like you to forgive her.’

This was always Dad’s mode. This was what he did, he smoothed things over, brokered deals, kept the ripples from reaching the shore. But not this time. Not this bloody time.

‘No, Dad!’ My voice rose, high and angry.

‘This isn’t her, Anna. You know that,’ he said soothingly. ‘She’s got a bit too much stress right now. I want you to believe me.’

My voice got higher and angrier the more soothing and dulcet he tried to be. ‘No! No more, Dad. I can’t just leave that – what she did. We can’t just ignore that. It was so bad, Dad. Maybe you don’t understand. It was worse than we’ve ever seen her. She was so explosive.’

Dad’s voice rushed in. ‘I do understand, Anna. I understand better than you, which is why I’m asking you, please don’t push her. She’s feeling bad, so bad . . . Oh god, I wish I was there . . .’ Dad faded off and I heard the fear in his voice. ‘I think this might be a make-or-break moment, honey –’

‘You’ve said that before.’

‘No, this is different. This might be it, you know. She is really shocked at herself right now. Really shocked. And wouldn’t it be great, if out of this . . .? But I really don’t want her to jump the wrong way, Anna. We have to leave her to make a change. So, can you please just leave it. Just for now. Can you do that?’ The anger left for a moment and I started to cry again, looking at Nassim standing apart from me in the dark of the driveway. It was unfair. It was all so unfair.

‘Where’s Nassim now?’ Dad asked me.

‘He’s here, with me. We’re in the street deciding what to do.’

‘Can you put him on?’