Back Where We Begin Save as PDF
Contents (42)
  1. Contents
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. 4
  6. 5
  7. 6
  8. 7
  9. 8
  10. 9
  11. 10
  12. 11
  13. 12
  14. 13
  15. 14
  16. 15
  17. 16
  18. 17
  19. 18
  20. 19
  21. 20
  22. 21
  23. 22
  24. 23
  25. 24
  26. 25
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  29. 28
  30. 29
  31. 30
  32. 31
  33. 32
  34. 33
  35. 34
  36. 35
  37. 36
  38. 37
  39. 38
  40. 39
  41. A note from the author
  42. Acknowledgements

I imagined a world where reporting something to the police, talking to the police, was not necessarily the best option. A world where that could, in fact, invite more problems. It was very different from the world I had been brought up in – a safe world where there was never any question that the police were on my side. And I could see why that might make an otherwise sane person sit across from a policeman in a police station and try to pick a useless fight.

‘But I don’t understand how you’ve ruined things for your dad,’ I said, drawing Basil to sit back down on the plastic chairs.

He sighed as he sat. ‘Because I busted him out, didn’t I? Like a fucking idiot. And I didn’t tell Mum.’ He shook his head again. ‘But Dad hated it there, Anna. What would you have done? He hated it with all the old people, and then there was Hessel at the hospice, out-of-the-blue, and there’s a great father-and-son reunion, and Dad’s all happy about it and Hessel’s saying to me “let’s get him out of here”, “it’ll be a fun secret”, “let’s move the prince back to the manor”, and Dad’s desperate to go and pleading with me to help. What would you have done?’

I shrugged and shook my head, and Basil shrugged too and went on.

‘So I did up the room in Bromley Cairn. I looked after him, brought him groceries. Played cards with him. I tried to make him happy. And I tried to keep him secret so that the nursing home people wouldn’t find out and come and take him back. But I didn’t know – Mum just told me now – I didn’t know he was voluntary. He was always voluntary. They’d never have come looking for him. And Hessel knew it. He wasn’t trying to reunite with him. He was trying to shut him up. And I helped him.’

I was confused. ‘Shut him up about what? Mum said Danny didn’t know what really happened. She said she and Leonie couldn’t bring themselves to tell him.’

‘Well, my mum changed her mind, apparently. Without consulting yours. Just a few weeks ago. Just before Hessel turned up. She said she went to visit him and he was just hitting his own head, over and over, blaming himself for mucking around and falling from the cairn and wrecking his brain and costing everyone so much money and trouble, and she just couldn’t take it anymore. So she told him the truth. But he flipped out, couldn’t handle it, thought she was lying, yelled at her until the nurses asked her to leave. And then when Danny was being difficult and refusing to speak to her again I guess they called Hessel. And then Danny must have said something that made Hessel think he’d better get him away from other people. But I didn’t know any of that. I just saw Dad happy. And I saw old Hess being charming and making Dad happy. I’m a fucking idiot.’