I sat up and shrugged and held my hands up. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know.’ I leaned forward again with my head in my hands. ‘I just felt . . . trapped. Diverted. Like it would be better if everything all just went away and I dealt with it myself.’ I wiped my nose with the back of my wrist and looked up at him. ‘Do you think that was wrong?’

Basil held his palms up. ‘I dunno. I don’t know anything about the guy. Like, maybe you were totally right. Maybe he was just a jerk who really couldn’t have handled it and would have made everything harder. I dunno.’

I looked down at my hands again, frowning.

‘So I’m guessing your mum doesn’t know either.’

I shook my head. ‘She doesn’t even know I’m here. We’re kind of . . . not speaking.’

Basil put his arm around me again.

‘I wish I could be Nassim for you.’

He got it. He understood. I needed Nassim. I couldn’t have him. I’d kissed Basil from a weird place – he got it.

‘I wish you could be him too.’ I looked up at Basil and smiled ruefully. ‘Well. Anyway. Grandma would have had a fit if she’d seen that. She warned me against you, you know. She didn’t want us hanging out.’

‘Really?’ Basil shifted, taking his arms from around me.

‘I don’t know why. Maybe you’re a bad boy. I wouldn’t know.’

‘A bad boy? Well, I guess it’s understandable that she thought you would fall in love with me. And look,’ he held his arms out, gesturing to himself, ‘she was right.’

I punched him on the arm. ‘You’re such a jerk.’

‘Ah well, you can reassure her now, though. Tell her you tried it out and I rejected you.’

I lifted my hand to punch him again and Basil caught my fist and put his arm around me.

‘So, my very good platonic friend Anna. What are you going to do?’

I sighed heavily and leaned into him. ‘I’ve got the pills for it. I’m going to take them tonight. I had a bit of a false start last night, but I’m starting to get sick, so I really should –’

‘Hey,’ Basil said, sitting up suddenly so I fell away uncomfortably. ‘You still got that memorial pamphlet? I didn’t show you the funniest line.’

I sat up and looked at him for a moment, a pissed-off feeling evaporating away as I realised what he was doing. I took a lighter breath, trying to welcome the distraction he was offering. As I fished around in my bag for the pamphlet I thought back to the doctor’s appointment. A little thrill ran through me and I said, ‘Basil, do you know anyone who might have hurt Bette? Like, in the past?’

Basil sat back and looked at me and frowned. ‘No. Why?’

I shook my head. ‘Something. Nothing. I mean, you don’t think there’s any reason to be afraid of Hessel, do you?’