BooksBarbecue
Back Where The Story Starts
Chapters (65)
  1. TITLE PAGE
  2. COPYRIGHT PAGE
  3. CONTENTS
  4. PROLOGUE
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. 49
  54. 50
  55. 51
  56. 52
  57. 53
  58. 54
  59. 55
  60. 56
  61. 57
  62. 58
  63. BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS
  64. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  65. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

She glanced at me, as if to check that she hadn’t spoken out of turn, but actually she’d hit the nail pretty much on the head. I did have everything that I needed and I was pretty happy with my lot. Not that I’d ever thought about it in those terms, but now that I did I realised that what I’d got was pretty precious.

But it hadn’t always been like that, I thought. I was usually so protective of the dark parts of my life, keeping them buried, but now I found that I wanted to tell Clio although I wasn’t really sure why. Partly it was to show that my life wasn’t the bed of roses that she seemed to think it was, but partly it just felt right to share it with her.

I took a deep breath. ‘My life hasn’t always been this good,’ I said.

What a masterly understatement that was. Now that I’d said it, I suddenly wondered whether I actually had the strength to retell the whole ghastly tale. It crossed my mind that I could just make up some everyday difficulties and fob her off with those instead. But no, I decided. This felt right. I would tell my new friend everything. I’d only ever told the whole story to one person before. Maybe the time had come to tell someone else?

32

32

LEAH – NOW

‘When I was eighteen,’ I began, looking across the room and away from Clio’s gaze, ‘my mum committed suicide.’

I heard Clio’s sharp intake of breath, but I didn’t look at her. I needed to plough on and tell it in one go before I lost my nerve. ‘She threw herself off the cliff,’ I continued. ‘Just up the promenade, not far from the lighthouse. They said she probably died as she hit the rocks, but if not she would have drowned. Some people said that she didn’t mean to kill herself and that it was a cry for help that went wrong. The cliffs round here aren’t that high and she could just have fallen by accident. Even the coroner said it was misadventure. But I think they just said that to try and make it easier for me. I’m certain she did it on purpose and that she meant to die.’

I pulled my knees up into my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them. I was okay, I thought, not about to cry or anything.

I carried on. ‘She and my dad had a massive row about a week before it happened. I don’t know what it was about, but my dad left that day and I never saw him again.’

‘What? Never?’ Clio said.