I turn away from her and scan the beach again. The only people left are an older couple sitting in camp chairs pulled up to the edge of the water so they can dip their toes in. A little dog circles them, yapping for their attention. The lifeguard is gone because it’s after hours, so no one can kick the dog off the beach.

“It’s a little complicated,” I say.

“Did something happen at the party? It seems that’s the last time you two were together.”

The little dog jumps in the water and splashes the old people. The man waves a cane at the dog and tells it to sit. The dog just yaps again.

“I’m embarrassed to tell you,” I say. “It was something really stupid, and I regret it a lot.”

“Oh, Rachel. I’m sorry.”

We keep treading water, watching the couple with the dog. It feels different here, with nowhere to go, and nothing to do but talk and be together. It feels nice.

“I kissed a boy,” I tell her. Something about being alone with her like this makes me feel safe to share secrets.

Her eyes widen in surprise. “You did?”

“I wasn’t really expecting to. It just happened.”

“Was it Micah?”

Of course she would think it was Micah.

“No,” I say. My throat tightens the way it always does when I’m about to cry. “That’s the problem. It was this other boy who I was talking with in the pool. We were just talking about school and what classes we have next fall and . . . then I could tell he was about to kiss me, and I let him. And Micah saw and got really mad.”

“Poor Micah. He’s so in love with you.”

“Don’t say that!” I say too loudly. “Everyone says that, and it makes me feel terrible. I can’t force myself to like someone, Mom. I can’t help it if I don’t have feelings for him.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. You shouldn’t.”

“But I do,” I say. We tread water awkwardly now, not really looking at each other.

The dog jumps up in the old woman’s lap and she shrieks, but then laughs.

The old man says something I can’t quite hear. It sounds like dumb dog.

“What happened with the boy you kissed?” my mom finally asks.

“Nothing. I made it clear I wasn’t interested, and he left me alone. But it doesn’t matter because Micah is still mad at me and he hasn’t replied to my texts and I’m afraid we aren’t friends anymore.”

“Oh, no, he’ll come around. He’s just confused.”